Page 54 of Knight's End
Chapter Fourteen
As we flew, I noticed several ships with Cheryn’s flags in the distance. Their human soldiers must have been aboard, sent to fight in a distant land.
I hoped Raj was aboard one of those ships, and that he and the sea sprite would concentrate their attacks on Sedara for the time being. That would give me another shot at Isla.
We shot up through a wet patch of clouds to meet up with Ryan and our fleet of fake Raslen soldiers. I gave them all a wide smile.
“Well done,” I praised, before going to the head of the formation. “Let’s go home.”
My men cheered and whooped, and I spent a moment reveling in their success before I realized Declan was still and silent behind me. Trusting Pony to keep us safe, I turned slightly so I could look at his face.
It was pinched and tight.
“Dec?” I asked carefully. In my head, I requested that Pony make the ride smoother. I knew my blond knight had a sensitive stomach.
Dec’s eyes stared at me, but his gaze was distant. He was trapped inside his own head. I grabbed his hand and drew it around my waist. “Hey,” I told him. “I’m sure your family will be okay. They have elves and magic and a huge army at their disposal.”
He didn’t acknowledge me.
Quinn?I asked.Is Dec okay?
Quinn answered.Give him time to process, Dove.
But process what? What part?
He’s never had Connor’s power before. He knew his mother didn’t love him. But there’s a difference between knowing it and feeling it …
Quinn’s words chopped me open. I yanked both Declan’s arms around me and started to pull up every good memory I had of him. I thought of the first day we’d greeted him at the ship when he’d disembarked. We’d both been awkward teenagers, but his hair had fallen near his eyes and he’d had to brush it back. I remembered thinking he was adorable. I thought of the first time I heard him give a detailed answer in class, once he’d gotten control of his accent. I remembered how impressed he’d made me. I thought about the number of times I’d watched his ass as he walked up the stairs in front of me. I thought about the secret thrill that had raced through me one time when we hadn’t debated but had actually agreed in class. He’d smiled at me that day. And his smiles had been so rare that it felt like I’d gotten something more precious than gold. His smile had liquified my insides, in a way that had utterly terrified me. Because that had been shortly after I’d made my decision to leave.
Declan didn’t respond to my memories, or the emotions they dragged up for me, so I couldn’t tell if he had shut down his power, or if it just wasn’t enough to overcome his melancholy.
When we landed, Declan immediately strode off into the castle.
I went over to Ryan, who was giving orders to troops as Jace came to collect the gargoyles. I waited until his men had all been sent off, and then I grabbed his arm.
“I think we need to talk to Declan,” I said.
“Quinn told me what happened. He might need time.”
I wanted to pull my hair out. “He had hours on the ride back.”
“Two more. Give him space and then I’ll go with you.” Ryan said as Jorad approached him.
“But—” I cut myself off and sighed. “Fine.” I didn’t like it. I felt like I needed to be there. But I knew that some things were easier to process alone. Maybe this was one of them.
I counted down those two hours as a useless mess while Connor dragged me to the library with Donaloo and Quinn, intent on researching Mayi and her powers. “There’s a list of known sprites somewhere,” Connor had muttered. “A huge gathering was held during your grandmother’s reign …”
I tuned out his muttering and thought of Declan. My scholar had taken the brunt of the attack at the palace. I could only imagine how it hurt for him to realize that Diamoni saw him as a pawn. I paced while I waited. I waited until I couldn’t stand it anymore. When I saw Ryan pass by the door, I hurried after him.
“Ryan,” I called. “I can’t wait anymore. I’m going to find him.”
Ryan sighed and nodded. He gestured for his soldiers to carry on without him.
“Bloss—”
“You know as well as I do where he is,” I snarled. “I’ve given him a bit of time, but I’m not letting him lash himself to death.”
We went down to the practice yard and into the weapons room. I couldn’t tell exactly what Declan had taken, but I felt certain he’d been here. Ryan sighed as he walked past me. “He’s not gonna want to see you yet.”
