Page 36 of Knight's End
Chapter Nine
It took me awhile to find him. I should have asked Blue, but I knew that Connor wouldn’t want any of the other knights around. He saw his anger as a weakness, as a lack of control—not as what it truly was, the price of his magic. For him, I could only imagine what a nightmare his uncontrolled rage was. He was a diplomat. Anger was counter to everything he’d ever tried to achieve.
I searched our normal haunts but couldn’t find him in any of them. He wasn’t in the stables or near the bell tower. He wasn’t in any of the secret passageways he’d loved to use to spy on the nobles. He wasn’t in my old room. I’d nearly given up my search when I found him beating his hands bloody against a satyr statue in the hallway near my bed chamber.
“Connor!” I cried, bolting toward him. I extended my hands and shot green magic at him until his hands sunk to his sides and his eyes were glazed with the dullness of peace. I reached up to caress his face, but he jerked away from my touch.
That movement felt like a slap. Connor had never pulled away from me. Not growing up, at least. He’d been slower to warm upon my return to the castle, but that was understandable. He’d thought I’d left him. But, now? Just when all had become good between us again?
“Connor?” I asked.
My knight hung his head, ashamed that I'd seen him acting so wild and crazed. "I'm sorry, Bloss Boss. I just can't contain it."
"Sweetheart, I know. Don't worry.”
“I’m a danger.”
“No. You never thought Ryan was a danger, did you?”
“He had years to perfect his control. And military training to—nothing—you don’t understand what it’s like. I can’t see straight.”
“Blind with rage, huh?”
“Yes. I want to hit the first person I see. And you’re too close—so often, you’re too close.”
I stroked his arm and shot a little more peace over his clenched fists. This time he didn’t pull away. I considered it progress. I opted for a soothing tone. “But think what you can do, who you can help.”
“What good is it to heal someone if I want to rip them apart seconds later?” Connor laughed bitterly.
“Have you asked Ryan about it?”
Connor bit his lip, and I knew he hadn’t asked. I didn’t lecture him, since, honestly, there’d been no time to ask.
I grabbed him by the wrist, his knuckles were too bloodied for me to take his hand, and I led him into my chambers. Gennifer was frozen mid-step near my bed, one of my petticoats held aloft in her hands as she carried it toward my dressing room to hang it.
I led Connor to the bathing room. My tub was full. Gennifer had probably filled it last night.
I grabbed a washcloth and a bar of soap. We were both filthy from the cave and the gargoyles. I stripped down and ordered Connor to do the same. I washed myself quickly and efficiently because the water was horribly cold. Connor did the same and the cold and accompanying shivers seemed to cool him down. I couldn’t help but admire his body as he bent and washed his calves. His ass had dimples just above it, and the way his waist tapered made me itch to put my hands on him. But I resisted, letting him get clean and calm first.
“Well, we have one potential solution,” I smiled at him as we walked back to my bedroom in the nude. “We can have Ryan learn to multiply snow and dump a bucket of it over your head when you’re angry.”
Connor laughed. “I might actually take you up on that.”
I leaned over and reached up to caress his cheek. "The anger that you’re feeling is unnatural. Try to hold onto that. It's part of the magic. Your price. You used to pay in depression. One might think this is better. It's at least easier. It’s a bit more temporary."
“True, I never realized I could stop drinking in emotions.” Connor sighed. He pulled me in for a hug. “Thank you, Bloss Boss.”
My hardened nipples pressed into his stomach, and the feel of the flat planes of his abdomen and the muscle of his pecs turned me on. My eyes traveled up the strong lines of Connor’s neck, to the curly mess of hair that I so loved.
Connor’s sea blue eyes stared down at me. "I'm supposed to be the logical, level-headed one out of the pair of us."
"You can still be if you want.”
My hands slid to his pecs and I let my fingertips gently glide over his nipples. I smiled at his sharp intake of breath and rubbed my own hard nipples against him, stimulating them, too. I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his left pec, near his heart. And then I let my tongue trace a naughty trail around his chest and stomach as my fingers continued to tease his nipples. I made sure to keep my own rubbing against him too, so that he’d know exactly how hot he made me.
When I saw his arm start to reach for me, I took a quick step back, abandoning my teasing. "You said you’re supposed to be the practical one, right?” I asked, as I played with my nipples.
Connor nodded; his eyes drawn inevitably toward my breasts.
