Page 25 of Knight's End
I’m trying! I don’t know how to do that!
Sarding hell!I thought, my eyes opening and searching out Quinn. But the only knight who might be able to help Blue, to instruct him, was muted.
I almost asked Blue to stop what he was doing and check on Ryan. But the rest of them would be in danger if I did that. And even if I knew what was happening to my poor Ryan, there was nothing I could do. My mother’s lessons echoed in my ears. I saw her face, bending over me in the war room during one of the practice sessions from when I was fourteen. “Focus on what you can control, Bloss. On what you can change. Losses are inevitable. Defeat is not.”
So, I resisted asking about Ryan, even though it tore at my heart to do so. I pushed against the piece of my soul that pulled me to go to him.
I turned on my step and looked up at Declan, who was still taller than me, even though I was a step above him. I leaned up on my toes and whispered in his ear, “Dec, can you sense what her emotions are?”
He nodded and closed his eyes, trying to feel out how to use his new power. But my Declan didn’t know how to go small. He’d always struggled with small reductions and multiplications. He’d always been more comfortable switching entire fields than single bowls of grain. I felt the ripple of his power as he sucked away a little bit of each of our emotions. Out of habit, he turned and spread his hands like he would have if he were using his old powers. His fingers stretched in the direction of the guest bedrooms.
A physical pulse shook the air and Declan took a step back, like he’d been hit with an arrow. I reached my hands toward him, concerned—
Blue’s excited thoughts interjected before I could ask if Declan was okay.Isla’s thoughts are turning dark!He exclaimed.She stopped thinking about battle. She’s thinking of her daughter … of saying goodbye to her daughter—
Next to me, Declan started to shake.
“Sard it all,” Connor whispered, his tone awed. “Dec’s sucking out all her joy.”
“Can he do that? Could you do that?” I asked, shocked.
Connor shrugged. “I never tried. I only ever sipped.”
Keep doing it!Blue shouted in all our heads.
I cringed.
She’s thinking about climbing out the window, ending it all!
My hand flew to my mouth. “No!” It couldn’t be this easy.
I turned to Declan, who was leaning back against the wall, shaking his head from side to side and fanning himself. He was sweating profusely. His face went through a rapid series of emotions, bliss, maniacal silent laughter, pain, and ultimately sadness. He doubled over.
I grabbed his knife and yanked on it when he reached for it.
But I wasn’t strong enough. He pushed me back and set the knife on his wrist—
Connor yanked the blade away from him. Then Connor put a hand over his sword and his face near Declan’s. “These aren’t your emotions. These aren’t your emotions.”
Declan started to tremble.
Helplessness choked me. I didn’t know what to do. I came forward and hugged Declan. I could feel him trembling. I sent a little stream of peace into him, hoping that might help. “Just another minute Dec. Just a little longer,” I whispered.
She’s opening the window—Blue reported before turning silent again.
Gods, can Declan do this? Can he kill her? I wondered.
His face was in shadows as he slumped into me and Connor.
Quinn tugged on Connor’s sleeve, desperate to find out what was going on. Connor leaned down a bit and whispered to Quinn, updating him as I poured even more peace into Declan, whose back arched as if he were in physical—not just emotional—pain. I shoved both hands on either side of his face, ignoring the blood that dripped from my wrists onto both of us. I pulsed peace into my blond knight.
On my arm, Dini stirred, my power or my blood seemed to rouse her. She stretched on my arm.
My eyes met Declan’s in the green glow of my power. I held his gaze as he struggled with emotional overload. Dec’s mouth opened. And then he fell forward in a dead faint.
I caught him, but if Connor and Quinn hadn’t moved to catch me, I’d have tumbled headfirst down the stairs. My two knights helped me and eventually shifted Declan over so that Quinn could sling the scholar over his shoulder.
Shite!Blue cursed.She didn’t jump. And now she knows we’re here. She thinks Quinn planted thoughts of suicide in her head.
