Page 62 of Knightfall
Declan lay with his head on the floor. His legs were tucked under him and his butt stuck in the air like a toddler. Next to him was a chamber pot. Ryan had already emptied it two times.
We were in Ryan’s old home. A farmhouse, down the road from the town square. Ryan’s parents had given us the master bedroom, insistent we use it to care for Declan. Then they’d gone back to the celebration.
I ran a wet washcloth over Declan’s forehead one last time. But, when he emitted a snore, I gave up the task and stood.
I sighed. “Well, I didn’t quite expect that.” I shook my head at Declan and turned to Ryan. “If you want to go back out with your family, visit with your mother and fathers some more, I’m fine here. I can keep an eye on him.” I gestured at my silly, snoring husband.
Ryan didn’t respond, and I looked up. When I did, I saw a bit of hesitancy in his eyes.
“Um …” he glanced toward the door. Then back to me.
He didn’t want to leave me. But he didn’t want to take me. Sard.
My tongue tripped over itself. “You don’t need to feel obligated to stay with me. This is your town. Your friends. I promise, I didn’t bring us here to make things awkward for you. And you don’t have to lead me around or anything. I’m fine. I’ll just stay here. Perfect excuse, right?” I didn’t know what to do with myself. I put the rag in a basin. I grabbed a blanket out of a chest and unfolded it. I laid it over Declan’s back.
Ryan didn’t speak.
So my mouth continued to ramble. “Poor Dec. I just wanted … he was so hurt this morning. Did you know people at court call him the invader knight? I just wanted him to know—never mind. Please tell your mother thank you for the dress. And your dad or brother or whoever’s clothes Dec has on. We’ll wash and return them. I’m pretty sure ours are ruined.”
“Bloss …”
I rubbed Declan’s back again, feeling nervous and jittery. Why was I feeling nervous? What was wrong with me? I was acting like a school girl. A stupid one. Ryan was going to leave and have fun with his family and friends. And that was fine.
He was going without me. It was what I deserved. Which made me think … I hadn’t told him yet. I suddenly realized why my hands felt clammy and my throat kept constricting.
“Before you go … this morning, Wyle sent a page to me with a message. He let me know that the spell regarding … your release … has been undone. I have the note,” my hands fumbled with my dress. It took me a second. “Oh, right. Not my dress. Here. I’ll get it, so you can see it.” My heart thundered in my chest as I stood back up and ruffled through my ruined dress to find that slip of parchment. It was soaked, but luckily still readable.
“What release?”
“The um … the spell where you can only find physical release with … me.” I stared at the floorboards, cheeks burning.
I’m a sarding idiot, I thought. I could talk dirty to all of them. I could tease them endlessly. Why the hell was this making me so uncomfortable?
Ryan reached out and grabbed my hand. “Really?”
I nodded. “Yes.” I made myself take a deep breath and look at his eyes. I handed him the slip.
He stared down at the words for a long time. When he looked up, his face was stone. I didn’t know what that meant. Shouldn’t he be happy?
For the last two weeks, there’d been lots of innuendo and naughty exchanges. But he’d never made a move to kiss me. Touch me, yes. All the time. But that was just his pent-up frustration, right? It wasn’t me. Tonight, he’d prove that. Tonight, he was free. My stomach lurched at the thought and I closed my eyes.
“No. Look at me.”
I opened my eyes and peered up at Ryan’s face, once again trying to read him. But his face had grown harsh, determined. The angled planes were even more obvious in the candlelight, the rough cut of his jaw lined in a day’s stubble. His thick lips were closed, and I couldn’t tell if his expression was angry or not. My nerves doubled. Did he take it as an insult? A rejection of him? “I thought it was the fair thing to do. I don’t want you to feel obligated—”
Ryan reached for me, grabbed me at the waist and pulled me flush against his body. His lips skimmed my ear. My pulse turned to thunder.
He stopped. He let go and pushed me roughly back.
“Obligated to what?”
“You don’t have to be with me. I won’t make you. You should be free to love whomever you want.”
“And you?”
I turned to him, hesitantly. I forced myself to meet his eyes. “I’d never have agreed to the marriage contract if I didn’t want you.” My eyes flickered down to the floor. Shite! I was coming across as skittish. As if I were still the young girl that ran away from him all those years ago. Why did he have this effect on me?
Ryan dipped his hand under my chin and raised my face. He waited until I looked into his eyes. His deep brown, burning eyes.
