Page 112 of Christmas for the Village Midwife
‘What if we go with Emilia and use her bathroom, and then come back?’ Alex suggested. ‘It would probably suit the vicar anyway because he could get ready for the service without us in the way.’
‘And I can be on hand in case there are any niggles with Georgia or the baby when they get there,’ Zoe said. ‘Good plan.’
‘Zoe…’ Billie glanced uncertainly between Zoe and Alex. ‘I want to…Can I talk to you?’
‘What’s the matter?’ Zoe asked, her stomach suddenly knotted at Billie’s tone. She wasn’t sure she had it in her to deal with another drama right now.
‘Nothing’s the matter. I only wanted to ask about something.’
‘Sure, fire away.’
Billie glanced uncertainly at Alex again.
‘I can take a hint,’ he said. ‘This is women’s stuff, right? I’ll go and get our coats – shout me when you’ve done.’
Zoe wondered what Billie had to say that couldn’t wait as she watched Alex leave them. ‘Is it something I should be worried about?’
‘I don’t know. I’m so confused right now and think I might feel better if I talk about it. I know it’s not the time, but?—’
‘If you need to talk, you know I’ll always make time.’
‘I don’t know if I want to give my baby up. I know I said I did, and I feel like it’s for the best – for the baby, you know – but every time I try to think about what it would be like not having them around, it makes me feel like crying. But I don’t know whether that’s just my hormones. And then seeing Georgia with her baby…’ Billie fixed Zoe with the most pleading, most vulnerable look she’d ever seen on the young woman. ‘What should I do?’
Zoe had fallen into this trap once before. She’d advised Billie to make the decision she felt was right, and it had thrown her into a conflict with Alex that had seemed impossible to resolve. She didn’t want that to happen again, and yet it was clear Billie was desperate. In the end, however, Zoe could only be honest, no matter what it meant for her.
‘I wish I could tell you. I can only say trust your gut.’
‘I don’t know what my gut is telling me.’
Zoe gave a small smile. ‘I think you do. I think the answer is there, but you’re afraid to look. I think that’s why you’re asking me. You want me to tell you you’re right. I’m not going to do that, but I am going to tell you to trust yourself. Have more faith in yourself to make the choice real.’
Billie gave a thoughtful nod.
‘But,’ Zoe added, a note of caution in her voice now, ‘please be sure about it before you tell your dad. Don’t mess him around again – I don’t think his heart could take it.’
‘I know,’ Billie said. ‘I do feel bad about last time.’
Zoe paused, holding her in a steady gaze. ‘Billie, you’re not thinking of changing your mind because you think it’s what your dad wants?’
Billie shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. A bit, but I think it’s a bit me too. And…’ She almost smiled with hope at Zoe with her next sentence. ‘The first time, when I made up my mind to have the baby adopted, it was just me and Dad. Now we have you. I think, if I decide to keep the baby, it will be better with you around.’
Tears welled in Zoe’s eyes. Billie had well and truly accepted her into their family, and it made her happier than she had words for.
Emilia was happy to oblige their request. After a brief word with the vicar to thank him for everything, they tidied after themselves as best they could and then walked slowly over to Emilia’s house, Zoe leaning on Alex for support, her ankle still throbbing. She found it hard not to keep checking on Georgia, but she was pleased to see that Brett was attentive enough for her and everyone else there. He barely let Georgia and the baby out of his sight, while discussions about names were still ongoing, though they didn’t seem to be getting anywhere.
Eventually, Emilia put a hand up to stop them. ‘Here’s a thought…and you can throw it out if you want to, but we’re in the Lake District, right?’
‘Thanks for pointing that out,’ Georgia said.
Emilia frowned at her.
‘Sorry…’
‘So think about famous locals.’
‘I didn’t know there were any,’ Brett said.
At this, Emilia let out an impatient sigh. ‘Where does Ottilie live, for a start?’
