Page 25 of Christmas for the Village Midwife
‘That’ll work.’
‘Perfect. You’ll text me then?’
‘I will, but if your date tonight stands you up for any reason, I want first refusal.’
‘I’ll remember that,’ Zoe said, laughing. ‘But I don’t think for a minute she will.’
Zoe wandered down to the kitchen early for lunch, having a shorter morning clinic than normal, with the intentions of getting it set up for everyone else. She got there to find Simon sitting at the table with one of their regular pharmaceutical reps.
‘Oh, hello!’ The rep got up. ‘I don’t think we’ve met, have we? I’m Barry.’
‘No, but I’ve seen you pop in,’ Zoe said with a smile. ‘I doubt you’d need to see me really; I’m the midwife.’
‘Oh, yes, I’ve heard all about you from Lavender. Good things, mind. Very complimentary.’
‘You’d have to say that,’ Zoe replied, her smile growing.
‘I would, but I can assure you it’s all true.’
‘What is?’ Lavender’s voice came from the doorway. ‘All right there, Barry? Have you had a cup of tea?’
‘Yes, Simon’s looked after me. I’ve got something for you, actually.’
Lavender clapped her hands together. ‘It had better be my calendar! I’ve got dates to mark for next year already and no calendar!’
‘Sorry, we had new printers on it and they’ve been a bit slow. Just goes to show, cheaper isn’t always better… Here we are!’ He produced a large envelope and handed it to her.
Lavender took it and opened it up, and then stared at it before gaping at him. ‘What on earth is it?’
She turned the calendar so that the entire room could see. On the front cover was a mass of green blobs and what could only be described as tentacles.
‘Yes, well…’ Barry cleared his throat. ‘I didn’t design it. It’s had…shall we say mixed reactions.’
‘What’s wrong with nice photos of birds? Or hills or Portugal or squirrels or something? What even is this?’
Simon peered at the photograph. ‘Influenza, I’d say. Magnified a few times. It’s fascinating, isn’t it?’
‘It’s gross!’ Lavender said. She opened up to the first page and then showed them another image, this time of red and purple tubes with what looked like hair all over them, floating in a sea of blackness. It looked like a weird alien landscape from an old sci-fi movie. ‘Don’t you have a calendar without photos of things that might kill me?’
‘Sorry.’ Barry gave an apologetic shrug.
Ottilie came in just as Lavender was displaying the page for March. She stared at it.
‘What is that?’
‘Norovirus, apparently,’ Zoe said.
‘Well, that’s something to be reminded of as we sit down to lunch. Iwashungry…’ She went to the fridge and got out a large tub, then tipped it into a pan before taking it to the stove and setting it down to heat.
‘That’s done it!’ Lavender said to Barry, giving him the calendar and pretending to haul him from his chair. ‘You can sling your hook, and take your calendar with you!’
Barry chuckled. ‘Next time I’ll bring a tin of biscuits then.’
‘God no,’ Lavender said. ‘They’ll come with pictures of bacteria or something!’
‘I think we’re about done anyway, aren’t we?’ Simon asked him. ‘And I’m afraid it’s lunchtime.’
‘I think we are.’ Barry checked his watch. ‘And I’ve got another appointment to get to. If I don’t see you all before, have a wonderful Christmas.’
