Page 76 of The Village Midwife
‘That was the plan, but you know Chloe. She’s seen the place she wants and doesn’t see any point in waiting. It makes sense.’ Stacey took a quick gulp of her drink before going to check what was in the oven. ‘I try not to think about it.’
‘Why?’ Zoe asked, and Ottilie turned to her with the answer.
‘She’s gutted that Chloe’s leaving. Aren’t you, Stacey?’
‘I never thought I’d say it, but yes. She’s a royal pain in the arse, miserable, moody, difficult and secretive, but I bloody love her to death. Mackenzie too. The house is going to feel massive and empty without them.’ Her eyes filled with tears that she sniffed back. ‘Stupid cow, aren’t I? It’s not like this day was never going to come.’
‘You’re allowed to be sad about it,’ Ottilie said.
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ Stacey continued. ‘I’m sure it’ll be lovely having the place to myself when I get used to it. Life will certainly be easier.’
‘Won’t Simon be moving in?’ Zoe asked.
Stacey shrugged. ‘I don’t want to ask.’
‘Why not?’
Stacey turned and leaned back against the kitchen counter. ‘If he wanted to, he’d already have said so. He knows Chloe is leaving and I’ll have the space, and he’s renting from Fliss so it’s not like he can’t give up his house. But he hasn’t said a word, so…’ She shrugged. ‘I reckon that’s my answer, and I’m not going to beg.’
‘Maybe he’s waiting for you to ask because he doesn’t want to be pushy?’ Zoe replied.
‘That’s what I keep saying,’ Ottilie agreed. ‘I wish you two would talk more.’
‘We do talk. Things have been good the way they are over the past few months, and I don’t know if I want to push it somewhere more intense. If I put pressure on him, then that’s what I’m doing, isn’t it?’
‘It’s hardly putting pressure on him to ask if he wants to move in,’ Ottilie said. ‘You’ll have space, and he can give up a place that’s costing him a lot of money. If anything, it’s common sense. Simon would see that.’
‘Easy for you to say. I don’t want him to feel I’m pushing him into it, that’s all.’
‘Whatdoyou want?’ Zoe asked.
Stacey gave a half-smile. ‘Now we’re getting to it. I mean, I’msointo him it’s ridiculous, and that ought to be enough for me to know what I want. But I don’t. If I’m being honest, it might be about more than pushing Simon. I’ve never been on my own. I was young when I met Chloe’s dad and we moved in together, and then I had Chloe when he left, and she’s been here ever since, and then Mackenzie came. I don’t know how to be on my own, and I’m nervous about it, but I think it might be good for me to try. I’ve spent so much of my life being something to someone else that I don’t even think I know who I truly am. I think, as well as not knowing what Simon wants, I wonder if I ought to give it six months to find out what I really want.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with that,’ Zoe said. ‘I have to admit I’m a bit the same. Even when I feel isolated up on the hill, I sense it’s good for me.’
Stacey nodded and then turned to get some pakora out of the oven.
‘Make sure you remember that next time you’re tempted to invite Ritchie over,’ Ottilie said, and Zoe frowned.
‘It’s not like that.’
‘Is that why you’re resisting Alex too?’
Stacey spun to face them. ‘Alex?’ she squeaked. ‘What’s this? You and Alex? Oh, come on, spill it!’
‘There’s no me and Alex,’ Zoe said, shooting Ottilie a withering look. ‘But some people seem to think it’s only a matter of time.’
‘I mean, he is single, and so are you.’
Zoe had to laugh now. ‘What was all that about spending time on your own so you can find out who you are without the influence of other people? It applies to you but not to me, apparently?’
‘I never said you couldn’t have a bit of casual sex while you find out who you are,’ Stacey said coyly.
‘That’s the last thing on my mind!’ Zoe replied, but flushed anyway and wondered if either of the other women believed her for a second. She hadn’t exactly thought about it, but she couldn’t honestly say that the notion hadn’t briefly crossed her mind on more than one occasion. There was an intensity in the way Alex looked at her whenever they met. It was respectful, generous and open, affectionate even. And yet there was something thrilling beneath all that, something hungry and a little bit dangerous. Zoe was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the attraction, and she was only human.
‘Of course it is,’ Stacey said, turning back to tip her nibbles onto a plate before taking them to the table. ‘There’s more coming, but dig in if you’re hungry.’
‘So have you got a date for Chloe moving out?’ Ottilie asked.
