Page 105 of The Village Midwife
Zoe sat at the table and invited Billie to do the same. Grizzle padded into the kitchen and settled at her feet. ‘Oh? What were you being all deep about?’
‘Stuff about Mum and how Dad wasn’t looking to replace her and…’ Billie shrugged. ‘That kind of thing.’
Zoe was silent for a moment as she pondered what Billie had told her. It sounded as if he was trying to reassure Billie about his date. It was the only conclusion she could come to that made sense. ‘Has he been with anyone since your mum died?’
‘No. He was never interested. He always said he’d never find anyone like her.’
Zoe wasn’t sure how to answer that so she changed tack to something that felt like safer ground. ‘This decision to give your baby up. You said you made it this morning and thought you ought to tell your dad sooner rather than later. Was it really that quick? Had you given it any thought before then?’
‘Yeah, of course I did. I couldn’t make up my mind before, and then this morning I did. I’ve thought about it loads.’
‘So you’re sure? Like really, really sure? There’s no chance you might not be sure? That you might change your mind?’
‘If I change my mind, then I won’t do it.’
‘I’m not sure it’s that simple. There’s an emotional cost to announcing things like this off the cuff.’
‘What does that mean?’
Zoe reached for her glass. ‘Never mind; it doesn’t matter. I know you’ve already told your dad, but I think you ought to give it a few days before you lock the decision in your own mind. Sleep on it, see how it feels to know that’s coming. Try to imaginegiving birth and then giving your baby to someone to take away, knowing you’ll never see them again.’
‘I have. I won’t be any good at looking after the baby anyway, even if I wanted to keep it.’
Zoe nodded slowly. ‘OK, fine. As long as you’ve thought it through and you’re certain, that’s all I wanted to know.’
‘You’re not going to try to change my mind?’
‘No. The only person who can do that is you. If it’s what you want, then I’ll support you the whole way.’
Billie seemed content with that. She sipped at her juice and then stood up. ‘If you’re OK, I think I’m going to go. Thanks for the drink.’
‘Thanks for being there when I needed you.’
‘A girl’s got to have a girl’s back.’
‘Well, you had mine, and I’m glad.’
Billie studied her briefly. ‘Want me to talk to my dad for you?’
‘About what?’
‘You and him? I could if you wanted me to.’
‘I don’t know how I’d feel about that. It might come across as a bit spineless, if you see what I mean? I think if anyone’s going to talk to him about it, that’s got to be me. But quite honestly, I don’t see him wanting to listen.’
It was strange, but whatever was going on with her and Alex, Zoe had the sense that things had suddenly developed in a far more positive way with Billie. And while she was glad of that, the irony was not lost on her.
28
The only person who asked to come over that evening was Ottilie. Ritchie didn’t bother her again, and if Billie had told Alex about him hassling Zoe, he didn’t do anything about it. Not that Zoe wanted or expected him to. But Ottilie phoned as she was running a bath to try to unwind.
‘What’s been happening?’ she asked. ‘After you left, Alex had a face like thunder. It didn’t exactly help when some people started to hassle him about his camping pod plans.’
‘What kind of hassle?’
‘The usual: complaining about trucks driving through the village and workmen and more visitors and that sort of thing. That’s not important. What happened between you and him?’
‘Let’s just say we won’t be going on a date after all. It’s fine; I don’t care.’
