Page 30 of The Village Midwife
‘I know,’ he said, flushing. ‘That’s what I meant…Come on, Zo, you know I’m no good at this stuff.’
Zoe folded her arms tight, but the hurt on his face shattered her resolve. ‘I know. I still care about you too – you know that. Whatever happens, that won’t change. I only meant…well, don’t you think we should look outside what we had a bit more now that we’re not together. We both need to build new lives.’
‘And you seem really keen to build yours. Was that your new boyfriend?’
‘What?’ Zoe let a cupboard door slam with more force than she’d meant to as she spun back to face him. ‘Alex? God no! He’s a new neighbour! He only came by to say hello.’
‘I bet he did.’
‘He did, and even if he hadn’t…’ Zoe sat down across from Ritchie, who’d taken a seat at the table. ‘You’re telling me you haven’t even started to think about seeing other women?’
‘It’s too soon for that.’ He paused, his expression strangely worried. ‘You have?’
‘No, but that’s not the point. If the right person came along for either of us, it’d be silly to ignore that, wouldn’t it? I’m not looking for a second go, but if the opportunity came along, I’d like to think I’d have your blessing. You’d have mine.’
‘You would – you know you would, but…’
Zoe suppressed a sigh. How could she make it clear that she didn’t want him to keep coming around, without him getting that expression that made him look like a puppy she’d just kicked? It was becoming clear that the staying-friends thing wasn’t working. The only way they could move on was to let go.
While she’d been living in Manchester, he’d come round to her flat every week, but she’d written it off as him feeling lost and not having a huge network of friends. The fact was, her place was close by and so she’d forgiven it. She’d even tolerated it with some positivity because she’d been relieved that they’d been able to stay friends, and having him round for the odd meal had reinforced that friendship. But part of her making the decisionto move away had been to loosen those ties. It had become too regular and too much, and she’d started to see that it wasn’t doing either of them any good. Did she have to keep moving? Was that the answer? Would she have to keep changing her address until he lost track of her? Or did she simply have to take the bull by the horns and tell him?
‘I’m sorry for coming,’ he said into the gap. ‘I only wanted to talk. I’ve had a redundancy notice.’
‘What?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah. Last thing today before we went home. It’s been coming for a while, but it’s still a shock.’
‘You never said anything!’
‘I didn’t want to bother you with it. I mean, we’re not together so I didn’t think you’d be that interested.’
‘Of course I would be, Ritchie. We’re still friends. So how long have you got?’
‘A couple of months, so I can try to find something else.’
‘They really have no other post they can slot you into?’
‘They’re closing our branch, and they’ve said we can relocate to another, but I don’t want to move, so…’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know.’ His shoulders slumped as he looked up at her. ‘You were always so good in these situations. I feel as if I’m losing everything, bit by bit. You’re gone, and now my job…’
‘You’resureyou can’t see yourself relocating?’
‘Is that what you think I ought to do?’
‘It doesn’t matter what I think – I’m asking you what you think. Have you really gone through it, or have you made a decision based on your gut reaction? I know you love Manchester, but there’s a big world out there, and some of it is almost as good.’
His smile was small and rueful. ‘See. This is why I was so much better with you.’
‘Ritchie…let’s not go down that road again.’
‘I know, I know – you’re right, like you always are. I didn’t mean to…’
Zoe reached to give his hand a brief squeeze. ‘You’ll be fine, you know. You’re going to get another job, or you’re going to relocate, and you’ll surprise yourself at how well you handle it.’
‘I wish I could agree, but thanks. See, I know you didn’t want me to come, but when you make me feel so much better, how could I not?’
