Page 56 of Eden's Comfort Kitchen
This was Julia’s tactful way of defusing an almighty argument, and Eden had to admit that her assessment of wherethe discussion with Cam had been going was bang on the nose. Eden had been losing her temper, fired by his sardonic tone and, perhaps, a little bit of shame because he’d made a valid point about her own upbringing. If what he said about his own family was true, then she’d had the more privileged upbringing.
Considering what she was asking people to do here, she felt an odd kind of imposter syndrome. Not the sort that people usually got when they felt unqualified to be in a position of authority but exactly the opposite, where she felt unworthy to speak for people who were struggling because she’d never struggled. Perhaps everyone saw her as a rich girl playing at social warrior. She hated the thought so much she could almost have burst into tears. Did they feel insulted by her efforts? Did it look like a game to them? That wasn’t her intention at all. She had to somehow make everyone see that.
‘Eden…’ Julia waved her over. ‘Could you just…?’
Eden went over, and Julia leaned in close, dropping her voice to almost a whisper. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Of course,’ Eden whispered back.
‘Don’t let him get to you. He said it himself: it doesn’t matter where you come from; it’s what you do that counts. You’ve started something amazing here, and none of us cares what the motivation was. We only care that you want to make it work as much as we do. Hold on to that, my love.’
Eden gave her a grateful smile. ‘Thank you; I needed to hear that.’
‘I thought as much. Now…’ she added in her normal tone, ‘would you mind taking a cup out to Liam? I don’t think he heard me shout up.’
Eden picked up a mug and headed for the doorway to the main room, conscious of Cam’s eyes following her. She could just imagine the smug look on his face. She was angry, but morewith herself than with him because she’d let him get to her just as Julia had said. So much for this being an easy battle.
Cam had turned out to be a surprisingly hard-working team player. Not that Eden was under any illusions about his intentions, but help was help, and at least he did that well. And once the combative nature of their interactions had calmed down, she was also surprised to find that they got along well – certainly better than they’d ever done during their time working together. Admittedly they had never worked closely on anything back in London, and it was perhaps because of that she’d never really taken the time to get to know him as a person at all. He’d always just been Cam Faulkner, the best and brightest of the partners, the man who’d do anything to close the deal.
‘He’s either a brilliant actor, or I think he might have had a good time here tonight,’ Livia said quietly to Eden as they finished wiping down the kitchen, having sent Cam on his way.
‘I wouldn’t like to put much money on either right now,’ Eden said. ‘I must admit I can’t read him. I thought it would be easy, but…’
‘You don’t know him quite as well as you thought you did?’
‘Something like that. How do you think it went? Do you think we made any headway?’
‘Tonight?’ Livia paused, a damp rag in her hand resting on the worktop. ‘I suppose it’s only the first night. He’s here for two weeks, right?’
‘So what you’re saying is we’ve got two weeks to really turn the screws?’
‘If that’s the way you want to put it, yes.’
‘Suddenly it doesn’t seem like long enough. Two weeks is six dinners and we’ve already done one. So that leaves five evenings to persuade someone who’s doing his best not to be persuaded.I mean, I know he got on with everyone, but I don’t think for a minute that he’d even give any of us a second thought once he leaves here. He certainly won’t be worrying about whether this place can keep going or not. He might do his two weeks and even have a good time, but once he’s gone and the land is sold, I’m sure he won’t ever think of it again.’
‘Then why are you even doing any of this? I thought you believed it would work? If you don’t think?—’
Eden took up a sweeping brush that had been leaning against the wall. ‘I thought at first…but now I’m not so sure.’
‘Give yourself more credit. I still think it could work, but even if it doesn’t, we’ve tried. At least we’re doing something, and we can’t do much more than that.’
Eden began to sweep. ‘You’re right – ignore me. Livia…’ It was her turn to pause, a question on her lips and fear in her heart for what the answer might be. ‘When Cam said I was well off…that my family were well off –not rich, you understand, but OK for money – you don’t think…well, you don’t think people feel insulted by me wanting to help?’
Livia smiled. ‘Why would they? Anyway, nobody really knows what your family background is. It’s certainly not the first question anyone asks me: “Hello, can I have the shepherd’s pie? And by the way, is Eden loaded? Because if she is, I don’t want the shepherd’s pie after all.’
‘I’m not loaded?—’
‘You know what I’m saying. Stop stressing. Everyone understands what you’re trying to do and that your intentions are good, wherever they began. Cam’s playing mind games with you – you must see that.’
‘No more than I’ve been doing with him, trying to guilt him into leaving us be.’
‘Exactly!’ Livia said brightly. ‘You’re a good person; your background doesn’t change that.’
‘That’s just it…’ Eden was suddenly nervous as she stopped sweeping and looked around. Julia was outside putting the recycling into the correct bins. The children were with her, ostensibly helping but in reality making the job twice as complicated. Everyone else had left. There was only her and Livia here, and Eden wondered whether this was the moment. She wanted so desperately to tell Livia everything, to explain why she was in Sea Glass Bay and why she was doing this, and she hoped she knew her friend well enough to know that she’d get an understanding response. But Eden couldn’t be sure, and she was terrified of losing the woman who’d done so much to help her turn her life around, even if that woman wasn’t aware of just how important a part she’d played. Livia was her best friend – perhaps her only friend right now.
She pulled in a long breath. ‘I don’t think I’m all that good. I let Cam get to me because he knows me from a time when I was far from good. I suppose I’m scared that he’ll tell you all the truth and you won’t want to know me anymore. I’ve made mistakes, Livia. I want to put those right, and I want to be better.’
Livia smiled. ‘Eden…you don’t need to tell me any of this. I don’t care what you might have been like before – and for what it’s worth, I can’t believe for a minute you were a bad person, even though you keep trying to tell me you were. I know who you are now, and I like you. You’re doing a thing that nobody else in the bay wanted to do, and you’re helping a lot of people. I see how hard it is for you and how much it means to you. No matter how this all ends, even if we lose the hut, that’s good enough for me. You’ve given it your all, and you should be proud.’
