Page 86 of Eden's Comfort Kitchen
She looked up at him again. ‘No. I’m staying.’
He seemed to be forcing his own smile as he nodded. ‘Good for you. Having seen what you’ve built here, I don’t blame you. Perhaps I’m even a bit envious.’
‘You have the life you want in London, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ he said, but something about it left Eden unconvinced that he meant it. ‘I have everything I ever wanted.’
‘That’s both of us then. Let’s go and get a drink, eh? Celebrate us both getting everything we ever wanted, even though for some of us we’ve only just figured out what that is.’
He followed her across the sand. Every so often, someone would stop them to say hello. Eden was pleased to see she’d been right to think Cam would be welcome. She was pleased to prove him wrong. It mattered to her, despite their differences in the past – and they’d been huge – that people liked him. She didn’t know why that would be except, perhaps, because she liked him, more than she’d ever done when they’d worked together. It was more even than that, but she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on any deeper feelings.
When they got to Liam, the young man seemed more than pleased to see him. Cam extended his hand, and Liam looked up at him with something like awe as well as affection.
‘You came all the way from London for my grandad?’ he asked.
‘It was the least I could do. Bilbo was a great guy,’ Cam replied. ‘Why wouldn’t I come to send him off properly? I’m sorry I didn’t come to the funeral; I was going to, but then…’ He shrugged. ‘I thought it might be a family thing – you might not want outsiders there.’
‘It doesn’t matter about that. Grandad would be made up if he knew you were here today. Let me get Mavis…’
‘Don’t worry,’ Cam said. ‘Don’t disturb her – looks like she’s busy. I’ll catch her later. It’s good to see you again.’
Liam nodded, and as Cam began to walk away, Eden followed.
‘They would have welcomed you at the funeral. You’re not a total outsider, you know.’
‘I feel like one. Do you think they’ll be all right?’
‘Who?’
‘Bilbo’s family? Are they struggling…you know, for money or anything? Because I could help. They wouldn’t have to know; I could do it through you somehow.’
‘I don’t know about that, but if you really wanted to play secret millionaire, I’m sure the community kitchen could do with funds.’
When he turned to her, he looked offended. Eden wondered what she’d said wrong.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked uncertainly.
‘That’s how you see me, isn’t it? That’s how everyone sees me. I breeze in, throw some money around – money I have plenty of – and then I leave again with my conscience clear. Like some medieval fraud giving money to the church so I’ll be allowed into heaven.’
‘Of course that’s not how we see you!’
He pushed a hand through his hair and stopped on the sand. ‘Play secret millionaire. That’s what you said.’
‘I didn’t mean it like…’ Eden sighed. She was messing this up royally. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right; I shouldn’t have put it like that. It was meant to be a flippant comment. I suppose it was a bit too flippant. I’m trying to be better, but I’m far from perfect myself. That’s the point – when I first got here, I said the same as you to Livia. I didn’t want anyone to think this entitled girl was here to patronise everyone by pretending to be some big saviour. Livia made me see that as long as my intentions were pure, people would forgive the odd misguided mistake. She was right. I messed up plenty, and there were times when I probably did insult people, but I learned along the way. People learned about me too, and I think we all finally understand each other. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re good.’
She paused as he turned his gaze to the sea, the breeze lifting his hair. He seemed troubled, but she didn’t know what to say.Perhaps it was something he was going to have to work out himself, whatever it was.
‘I can smell sausages,’ she said, for want of anything better. ‘Let’s go and get some food.’
They were close as they walked back to the grill. Her hand grazed his more than once, and she was gripped by the overwhelming urge to take it, to clasp it in her own. It was odd – they’d slept together not so long ago, and yet she’d never felt the intimacy that she did now. All at once, she felt strange and yet distant; it would only take the smallest leap to show her true feelings, and she was certain he felt them too, and yet that tiny leap seemed so vast and terrifying that she didn’t dare make it. And so they walked to get food, and they talked about everything but their feelings, the desire that hung in the air between them both driving them together and yet forcing them apart. On paper, he wasn’t right for her, and she wasn’t right for him. She’d imagined during his absence from her life that she was over him, over the missed opportunity, over the night they’d spent together and the intense fortnight they’d shared, but now he was here, she realised it had been a lie. She’d never been over him; she’d only forced herself to forget.
The sun had dipped below the line of the sea as the solar lanterns dotted around the picnic area began to flicker into life. The crowd had gathered to watch a spectacular sunset, a furnace of bronze and gold that set fire to the sea, and everyone agreed it felt like a sign that Bilbo was somehow there with them, that the most perfect and fitting tribute should appear on this day of all days when they were gathered to celebrate his life. Even shy and reserved Liam looked moved to tears as Eden glanced his way. Cam stood at one side of her, and Caitlin and her dad at the other, with Livia and Julia and the children next to them, andEden felt lucky to be witnessing such a spectacle with the people who mattered most all around her.
Once they’d watched it disappear, there was a round of applause, and then someone started to play an old guitar, and someone else started to sing old songs Bilbo used to sing, and everyone gathered round to listen. Eden sat on the sand, and Cam settled next to her, while Nancy insisted on curling up on his knee.
‘You’ve got a fan,’ Eden said with a smile. ‘I think she might be a bit in love.’
‘God only knows why,’ Cam replied.
