Page 41 of Eden's Comfort Kitchen
Eden nodded shortly, her gaze still on that invisible smudge.
When she collected herself enough to look up, she saw Ralph leaving the bar with a fresh drink and heading to the kitchens.
Eden turned to Livia. ‘Ralph has been so lovely to me; I’m sure I don’t know what I did to deserve it.’
Livia stopped to take a sip from her glass. ‘He meant what he said – he likes you. I think he will miss you when you go home. He’s like that, gets attached to people. And not just because they’re staff.’
‘Maybe I won’t even go home.’
Eden had said it before the thought had fully formed in her mind. Livia stared at her. But as soon as it was out, Eden wondered whether it might be the truth of her feelings, forcing their way to the surface before she’d had time to process them.
‘I don’t know,’ Eden said. ‘I like it here, and I feel as if I’m settling in. Maybe I’ll stay.’
‘Just like that? What about your family? And you had a great job in London, didn’t you?’
‘It was well paid, but it wasn’t that great. And my family…’ Eden shrugged.
Livia regarded her for a moment. ‘What’s going on with you? I mean, really? You don’t have to tell me, but if you need to get something off your chest…Like this community café thing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s brilliant and everything, but what does it matter to you?’
‘I want to do something good.’
‘But why? What for?’
‘Does there have to be a reason?’
‘Maybe not a reason, but there has to be something that motivated you.’
Eden gave her a small smile. She didn’t doubt Livia’s astuteness, but she hadn’t realised just how keen it actually was. ‘I’m motivated by wanting to be better, that’s all. I don’t think I’ve been a great person so far, and I want to change that.’
‘So stick a tenner in the odd charity box. That’s what everyone else does.’
‘You don’t think I ought to bother with the kitchen?’
‘That’s not what I meant. Of course I think you should bother with it, but going that extra mile isn’t what most people do to make themselves feel better. So why? Why are you really doing it? What made you feel like such a bad person that this is what you did to make amends? And for the record, whatever it was can’t have been that bad. I don’t believe for a minute all this stuff about you being a terrible human.’
For the briefest moment, Eden thought about coming clean. About how her selfish behaviour was responsible for her mum’s death, about how she’d run away saying that it was to make things easier for everyone else when really, deep down, she knew that running away had been just one more selfish act on top of all the others. She was running away from what she’d done because she couldn’t face it.
Another unwanted flashback filled her mind, and try as she might to shake it, there was no letting go…
Caitlin glared at Eden from across the dinner table. Eden pretended not to notice and instead poured herself some water from the jug that sat between them.
‘Here we are then – just another fun family Sunday lunch. Honestly, I don’t know why I come. I suppose I’d miss the insults if I didn’t get my weekly dose.’
‘Nobody wants lunch to be like this. You could choose to behave like a decent human being and then it wouldn’t be.’
‘Jesus, Caitlin, get off your high horse! Nobody died!’
‘You wouldn’t say that to Uncle Terry, though, would you? No – because you know it would be out of order.’
‘I forgot the dog for, like, a couple of hours.’
‘You forgot him for a whole day! Uncle Terry trusted you to go and check on him and take him for a walk because youpromised you could do it! The poor thing was dying of thirst when Terry got home.’
‘Don’t exaggerate – he wasn’t dying of thirst. He had a bowl of water when Terry was back and he was OK.’
‘No consequences. There never is for you, is there? It’s like the community centre all over again.’
‘God, not this again! That was months ago!’
