Page 38 of Eden's Comfort Kitchen
‘If you know what you are,’ Caitlin said coldly, ‘why not do something about it?’
‘What do you want me to do? A leopard can’t change its spots! I’m good for nothing and selfish and self-absorbed, and I always will be! I can’t be what I’m not!’
‘Yes, you are selfish! Selfish for not letting us know where you are! Selfish for piling worry on top of everything else!’
‘I didn’t mean to make anyone worry; I just thought it would be better for everyone if I was out of the way.’
‘Living up to the hype. Promises to be selfish and delivers, even while thinking she’s doing us all a favour. Congratulations, Eden. You might just be the stupidest person I’ve ever met.’
‘Caitlin…’ Eden sighed. She was tired, and she didn’t want to have this discussion, not now, not ever. Part of her might have known on some level that she needed to, but that didn’t change her reluctance. ‘I don’t know what you want me to say. I screwed up, I get that you’re still angry, but I don’t think this is getting us anywhere. Surely it’s better if I disappear and let you all get on with your lives? If I’m there, it’s only going to keep reminding everyone of what happened that day.’
‘Spoken like someone who doesn’t have the emotional maturity to own their mistakes and face up to them. Easier to run away than try to fix what you’ve done, eh? Just when I thought you couldn’t get any lower in my estimation, little sis, you’ve outdone yourself.’
‘I’m trying to spare everyone more pain.’
‘You’re trying to spare yourself pain is more like it. Quite frankly, if you were in front of me at this moment, I’d strugglenot to slap you, but I’d keep a lid on it for Dad’s sake. And that’s what you should be doing. You should be here for his sake. He’s the person who’s suffering the most here, losing out on all sides and none of it his fault. If you can’t see that, then you really are more selfish than even I gave you credit for.’
‘I’m not coming back – not yet – and you can say what you like about it because I know it’s for the best.’
There was a pause. Eden could almost hear the impatience in it. Then Caitlin spoke again, and it was a tone made of serrated edges designed to hurt. ‘Whatever. At least message Dad.’
‘I have messaged him.’
‘Message him again and tell him where you are. He won’t settle until he knows.’
‘I’m not…’ It was Eden’s turn to pause. Perhaps Caitlin had a point – where their dad was concerned, at any rate. But she didn’t want to tell him where she was because she knew he’d be in his car and there as fast as he could. It wasn’t what Eden needed right now, and she was sure it wasn’t what he needed either, despite what Caitlin had to say on the subject. ‘I’ll call him.’
‘Tonight?’
‘It’s late. I?—’
‘Call him tonight, Eden. Don’t give him another sleepless night worrying about you.’
‘Has he…?’
Had it been that bad? Eden wasn’t stupid enough to suppose she’d be forgotten, but she hadn’t imagined any worries about her would last.
‘I wish you’d come home,’ Caitlin said into the gap. ‘This is all ridiculous.’
‘Is it? Would you want me there? Honestly?’
‘Dad does. Isn’t that good enough?’
‘I’ll phone him.’
‘Let him know where you are; put his mind at rest.’
‘I’m not going to do that, but I will do my best to stop him worrying.’
‘I don’t know what you’re doing for money or where you’re living, and I don’t understand why you’re doing any of it, but we do care, no matter what you think. If you’re trying to prove some kind of point, then I’m sorry to tell you it’s a waste of time. All you’re proving to me is that you’ve learned nothing from the past couple of months. You’re as selfish as you’ve ever been.’
‘I’m trying to be better.’
‘By disappearing without a word?’
‘I thought it was for the best.’
‘It’s not. It’s a stupid thing to do.’
