Page 26 of Eden's Comfort Kitchen
Eden shook her head. ‘Too young.’
‘All our mothers are far too young to be taken from us when they go, whatever age that is. We’re never ready. The trick is to hold on to the happy memories. It’s a cliché, I know, but it’s really all we can do. May I ask…was it expected? Was she ill?’
‘No, it was sudden. She had a heart attack. They said afterwards she’d always had a heart defect, but nobody knew about it, not even her. I feel…I wish I’d known, because then…’ Eden shook her head. ‘I’m sorry…listen to me. I know you lost your husband this year too and I’m going on about my mum.’
‘That’s all right, my love. Your loss is as hard to you as mine is to me; it’s only natural.’
‘But I’m sorry for yours.’
‘Thank you.’
Julia glanced at the counter to see a family arrive. ‘Sorry, my love, I’d better get back; I can see a queue starting. No rest for the wicked, as they say. If you’re looking for Livia, she’s popped over to the charity shop on the high street. She shouldn’t be long.’
Eden nodded and watched as Julia went back to work. And then she decided to walk along to the high street to see if she might meet Livia coming back.
By the time Eden had got to the shop, she hadn’t met Livia coming the other way as she’d planned. She peered through the window and noticed her going through a rack of clothes, a bundle already in her arms. After a pause, where she was uncertain whether to go in or not, she pushed open the door and made her way over.
‘Oh, hi.’ Livia smiled. ‘Didn’t expect to see you here. After a few bargains?’
‘No, I came to see…’ Eden glanced at the clothes in Livia’s arms. ‘A bit small for you, aren’t they?’
Livia laughed lightly. ‘They’re for Nancy and Levi. I can’t tell you how fast they grow out of stuff. These things are hardly worn, a couple of quid each. They’ll do us for the next few months…at least, I hope so. Levi especially seems to have a growth spurt every week.’
Eden let her gaze rove the shop. If she said out loud what she was thinking, she was certain Livia would either laugh or be horrified, but Eden had never before set foot in a charity shop. She’d imagined them to be messy places full of other people’s old rubbish and was surprised to see that this one was far from the image she’d always held. There were things she would not have wanted to buy, but there were things that – like Livia had just said – looked brand new. It was clean, fresh smelling and well organised. Her eye was caught by a vase over in the home section. Livia must have noticed her looking.
‘You should have a nosy while you’re here.’
‘Oh, I don’t really…’ Eden turned back to her. ‘I only came to find you to tell you that the scout hut said we could have three days a week. I thought…well, I was hoping you might help memake some proper plans for the opening. Maybe put me in touch with the people who said they’d help. If you’ve got time, that is.’
‘I’ve got to get back to work after I’m done here. Maybe later? You could come up to the house. Mum’s done your cushions anyway so you could collect them at the same time.’
‘She said so…I saw her a minute ago when I went to the parlour to look for you. I’ll walk back with you anyway, if that’s all right.’
‘If you like. I’m almost done here.’ She pulled out a T-shirt with a race car on the front and showed it to Eden. ‘What do you think? Cute?’
‘Yes,’ Eden said, not entirely sure whether it was cute or not. ‘For Levi?’
‘It might still be a bit big, but that’s not a bad thing – we’ll get longer out of it. He won’t care if it fits or not; they both love new stuff. They’ll go nuts when I take this lot home later – anyone would think it was London fashion week in our house the way they dive into the bag.’
‘I bet they love that you bought it for them.’
‘Maybe. I love that they get excited, so I’m probably just as bad as them.’
‘You’re brilliant with them. I’ve only seen you with them the once, but I can tell they adore you.’
Livia smiled as she put the T-shirt with the other clothes on her arm. ‘If that’s true, then I’m glad. Mum and me do our best, but we’re not…’ She paused, the smile fading from her lips. ‘Anyway, I’ll get this lot paid for and then I’ll be ready to go. Are you sure you don’t want to have a quick look before we leave? I can wait.’
‘It’s all right – I’ve got all day to do this sort of thing and you haven’t. I can come back if I want to.’
‘Rub it in, why don’t you?’ Livia said, the smile back on her face.
The darkness had been banished so completely that it seemed quite miraculous to Eden, as if it had never been there. But she was beginning to see that Livia had a light in her soul, a glow that seemed to draw everyone to it. It was obvious there was tragedy in her past, and Eden didn’t know the full extent of it yet, but it didn’t seem to drag Livia down a bit. While she might be sad, she didn’t heap it on others, and she tried to be happy and strong for everyone around her. Eden wished she could be a bit more like that, but she found it harder not to dwell. Then again, perhaps the tragedies in Livia’s past didn’t come with quite so much guilt attached. Perhaps the awful things that had happened to her weren’t her fault. It was harder to be optimistic when you were forced to face the fact that being a better person could have prevented it all in the first place.
‘Give me a minute then…’
Eden watched Livia go to the till, chatting easily with the assistant as she paid for her bundle. The notion of belonging in such an obvious way was one that felt alien to Eden. It had always done so, even in London, even in the place where she’d grown up and sometimes even with the family who had doted on her.
There was a sudden pull, a longing to hear a familiar voice, and for a moment, she considered returning Caitlin’s calls, if only just to have one more taste of her old life, to feel a part of something, however fine that thread of belonging had been.
