Page 94 of New Dreams for the Village Nurse
‘Heath’s told me you had…He thinks you might have split up.’
‘Not as such.’
‘What does that mean? He’ll be ever so miserable without you, and I know you’re very fond of him too?—’
‘Flo, I see what you’re doing and I love that you’re doing it, but this time I don’t think it’s your place to get involved. And don’t get all offended by me saying so. I just think this is for me and Heath to sort out.’
‘He wants to sort it out but you won’t give him a chance.’
‘I will if he gives me time. One way or another…’
Flo looked taken aback at Ottilie’s last sentence. Ottilie supposed it might sound slightly ominous, but there was no point in being anything but completely honest. She didn’t know if she could simply forget about this and go back to how thingshad been. And right now, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Heath hadn’t exactly endeared himself to her over the past few weeks, especially since Simon had arrived. In fact, precisely since Simon had arrived. It was hard to get over that sort of hypocrisy when she’d had to put up with Mila’s looming shadow for months before that, and felt she’d been more than patient about her. Until this point, of course, and yes, perhaps she wouldn’t have been so patient had she known who Mila’s cousin was, but that was a whole other conversation.
‘So you’ll talk to him?’ Flo pushed.
Ottilie nodded, though part of her was sick of feeling as if everyone else’s needs were more important than hers. Heath wanted to talk to her, but what about what she wanted? In the end, however, she knew she’d give in, and that was perhaps more galling than anything. Perhaps it was herself she ought to be angry with rather than anyone else. Circumstances seemed to conspire against her more and more these days, but did that mean she had to let them affect the decisions she made? They may colour them, but she didn’t have to let circumstances rule her, did she?
So she made herself a promise, right there and then. She’d talk to Heath. She’d listen. She’d listen to anyone who needed it, but she wasn’t going to let their needs be more important than hers. She was going to take control of her destiny for once and make the decisions that felt right to her, not the ones others wanted her to make. Heath could have his say, and then she was going to say how things were going to be. She loved him and she’d be sad if it meant the end of them, but even love wasn’t worth saving if it meant sacrificing pieces of herself at its altar. She’d been alone before and she’d survived, and if she had to do it again then she supposed she’d survive that too.
‘Right,’ Flo said, glancing across at where Ottilie’s kettle was plugged in.
Ordinarily, Ottilie would have asked her to stay for tea, but not today, and Flo had seriously misread the room if she thought that was going to happen.
‘So I hope you don’t mind if I see you out,’ she said. ‘I need to get a shower and breakfast before I phone Heath.’
‘Oh.’ Flo looked flummoxed but as Ottilie herded her towards the door seemed finally to take the hint. ‘Of course. I’ll be off then.’
After she saw Flo out and closed the front door, Ottilie leaned back against it and let out a sigh. All that and it wasn’t even eight thirty yet.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Heath didn’t give her time to phone. He turned up soon after Ottilie had showered and dressed, standing hopefully and sheepishly on her step, bouquet in hand. She tried to look pleased, and then remembered her promise to herself and let her face do its natural expression – which at this precise moment was somewhere between annoyance and exasperation.
‘I told you I needed time.’
‘I know, but you wouldn’t answer my calls.’
‘That’s because I needed time. That was kind of the point of not answering.’
‘I’m sorry, I…I couldn’t leave it. I’ve been going out of my mind. I need to know what you’re thinking.’
‘And I need time to finish thinking.’
‘I know, I just…’
‘You’d better come in.’
Heath offered the bouquet. It was lovely – huge and obviously expensive, a burst of bright tropical colour on a muted, cloudy day. Ottilie took it from him as he followed her inside. Ordinarily, she’d have arranged it in a vase immediately, buttoday she took it to the sink and ran some water to dump it in until she was ready.
‘Ottilie, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what Mila did?—’
‘I don’t care about what Mila did. I could have expected that from her. What I’m upset about is what you did.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Would you have told me?’
‘Yes! I would have had more respect than to assume you’d never find out! If the tables had been turned you would have felt like an idiot. It’s not nice being the last to know – even your gran knew more than I did!’
‘I didn’t want to lose you! I thought if you knew about Mila’s cousin, then…’
