Page 79 of New Dreams for the Village Nurse
Simon shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded slowly. ‘That’s more or less what I thought. Thank you.’
‘I didn’t do anything.’
‘That’s not true. You told me straight, and that was what I needed to hear. I’ve been trying to dress it up to myself, trying to convince myself there’s a solution, that time will put things right, that I’ll somehow simply forget about Kiki, find a convenient way to put my guilt aside, but of course, none of that is going to happen. I must find a way to live with it and accept it as part of any new beginning I might hope for. I see that now.’
‘Tell me to mind my own business, but do I know this person? I assume there’s someone on your mind and this isn’t only a hypothetical conversation.’
‘You don’t need to mind your own business, but I haven’t told her how I feel yet. I haven’t even got straight in my own head how I feel yet. I know I like her, and I know I feel more relaxedand content in her company than I have in a long time. She’s down to earth and practical and funny and…I can’t tell yet, but I feel like she might be the right person to try again with. But I don’t want to say who it is until I’ve spoken to her and told her all of this.’
Ottilie smiled slowly. ‘I’d say that’s a very good idea. Whoever she is – and if it’s who I think it might be, then you’re right, she’s amazing – I hope she feels the same way, and I hope you can see a way to make it work. I didn’t sugar-coat the guilt, but I will say, for the right person, it’s totally worth going through.’
‘You’re glad you did it?’
Ottilie nodded. ‘Glad I took a chance, yes. I have a feeling that if you take a chance you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the response.’
He frowned slightly. ‘She’s said something? Assuming we’re talking about the same person?’
Ottilie’s smile grew. ‘Why don’t you ask her? It’s got to be easier in the long run, even if it’s scarier.’
He broke into a smile now and began to back towards the door. ‘Thanks, Ottilie. I’ll do that.’
‘And be sure to let me know how it goes,’ she called after him as he left the room. Shaking her head, she turned back to her diary. Life could be a funny old thing, but sometimes it threw the sweetest curveballs. She hoped she was right and that he was talking about Stacey, because she knew they’d be great together.
But as she was finishing off, there was another knock at the door and Simon was there again.
‘Do you think I ought to have a housewarming?’ he asked breathlessly.
Ottilie blinked at him. ‘Do you want a housewarming?’
‘I don’t know – it just occurred to me. Is that what people do here? Did you have one?’
‘I didn’t. Never even crossed my mind, to be honest. I’m sure nobody would object if you wanted to throw one. Magnus and Geoff are the party kings around here – I’m sure they’d be able to help you, depending on how big you wanted to go.’
‘Oh, I think informal ought to do it, don’t you?’
‘If that’s what you want.’
‘I don’t know. I’ve never had one before. It feels…’ He shrugged.
‘Like a time for firsts?’ Ottilie asked.
‘Like it’s about time I put myself out into the world again. Thanks, Ottilie.’
‘For what? I really haven’t done anything.’
‘You paved the way. I can see how you’ve made this village and the people your new life, and I think if it’s been this good for you then it might be good for me too.’
‘Still, I haven’t done anything special except live my life.’
‘Exactly!’ Simon beamed. ‘And that’s what I need to do too!’
A few days later, Ottilie was opening her gate when she heard her name being called. She turned to see Chloe get up from a nearby bench. Baby Mackenzie was in a pushchair and he grinned up at Ottilie, throwing out his arms in delight as they made their way over.
‘Hello!’ Ottilie said, cooing at Mackenzie before straightening up to see that Chloe looked grave. She had to admit to being surprised by the visit. Stacey was nowhere to be seen, and although Ottilie and Chloe had some pretty huge life events binding them together they’d never been what Ottilie would call close. She always got the feeling Chloe tolerated her mum’s friend simply because she was just that. They had very little in common apart from those connections, and Ottilie couldn’t remember the last time they’d had a proper deep andmeaningful conversation – perhaps never. She couldn’t hold back a frown. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘I don’t know,’ Chloe said. ‘I mean, I’m all right. I don’t know if everything is all right for you.’
‘What does that mean?’
