Page 6 of New Dreams for the Village Nurse
‘Why would you…?’
‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged. ‘It just feels like I ought to. It feels like a way to support you through this. And maybe…’ He paused. ‘I don’t know…like maybe I feel as if I ought to say a word. Kind of get his approval, you know. Sounds daft, doesn’t it? Now that I’ve said it that sounds daft. Forget it.’
‘It sounds lovely,’ Ottilie said through the tears she hadn’t been able to hold back. ‘It sounds exactly like the sort of lovely thing you’d do for me. But I couldn’t ask you to do that.’
‘Why not? You don’t want me there? Because if that’s it, then I understand?—’
Ottilie shook her head. ‘It’s not that. It’s…It would be weird for both of us. I don’t know how I feel about it.’
‘OK,’ he said after a long pause. ‘Sleep on it. Let me know, but the offer is there. I realise this is going to be hard but I want to be there for you, in whatever way you need me to be there. If you need me to stay away, then I can do that too. All you have to do is ask and it’s yours.’
‘I don’t deserve you.’
‘I don’t know about that, but I know you deserve my best, and I always want to give you that. You make me want to try harder to be better every day, and I owe you everything for that. Iambetter because of you.’
Ottilie buried her face in his shoulder and tried to stop her tears. ‘Thank you.’
He lifted her face gently to his and kissed her. ‘There’s nothing to thank me for. I’m the thankful one. Now…do you want to go in and get that drink? Because if you’d rather stay out here and talk more in private, or if you don’t feel like going out at all now and you want to go back home, we can?—’
‘No, I want to go in. Let’s have a nice evening; I don’t want to ruin it.’
‘You wouldn’t. I wish you’d told me all this before, though. If I’d known, I would have…well, I don’t know, but I feel as if I’ve been heartless not to have considered that this type of milestone would come up. You should have said – I wouldn’t have suggested we go out. I’d have stayed away and given you space.’
‘I don’t want you to stay away and I don’t need space. You’re right – we should be there for one another.’
Ottilie paused. She was so lucky to have found Heath, and she couldn’t let herself take him for granted, not for one minute. She didn’t want to lose him.
‘I’d like it if you came to the cemetery with me next week. I think it would be good, and you’re right, I’d appreciate the support. But maybe not the rest of the stuff.’
‘Anything you want.’
‘You’re sure you really want to do this?’
‘Absolutely.’
Ottilie took a long breath and sniffed hard. ‘I can’t believe I’ve ruined my make-up before we’ve even set foot in the place. People will think we’ve had a massive bust-up in the car park.’
‘Let them think what they want – what do we care? And you look gorgeous whatever your make-up is doing.’
‘You have to say that.’
‘Yes, I do, but I don’t have to mean it. And I do mean it. Ottilie, to me you’re perfect, and I never want you to feel anything less than that.’
She nodded, unable to express the same in quite such an eloquent way. She only knew that the more time they spent together, the more she wanted to be with him. He was quickly becoming a part of her life that she couldn’t do without. And it scared her. Once, Josh had been that, and then she’d lost him, and it had almost ripped her in two. She didn’t know if she had the strength to go through that again. She prayed she’d never have to.
CHAPTER THREE
Stacey bounced her new grandson, baby Mackenzie, on her knee. He was drooling over a fist rammed into his mouth, podgy cheeks aflame. Ottilie reflected vaguely on how good Stacey looked today. She wore a denim dress, belted at her trim waist, and knee-length boots. She’d been telling Ottilie how she’d travelled to a neighbouring town where there was a decent salon to have her hair cut shoulder length. Ottilie was in awe – it was a style she’d never be able to pull off, a chic, shaggy kind of haircut that really framed her face and made her look very cool. Stacey was a grandmother in name, but she was only in her late forties and looked younger than that, still gorgeous and still fun. Ottilie had never understood how she’d been single for all the years since her husband had left her to bring up daughter Chloe by herself.
As she jogged Mackenzie on her knee, he grizzled. ‘This is the first time he’s been quiet all day. I’d be tempted to say Chloe’s being a drama queen, but this time I can understand why she needs a break.’
‘She’s doing so well, though.’ Ottilie smiled at Mackenzie as she offered him a teething ring.
‘Better than I ever thought she would,’ Stacey agreed. ‘Considering how down she was on the idea of motherhood at the beginning?—’
‘Quite near the end too,’ Ottilie said, and Stacey gave a light laugh.
‘True. But she’s smitten with him now. I always knew she would be, but I never expected her to take to it so well. She copes better than I ever did with her.’
