Page 109 of New Dreams for the Village Nurse
‘No,’ Ottilie said, ‘it’s fine. People have got to use the kitchen, after all, and we’ll have to take desserts out soon.’
‘And there you go again,’ Stacey said, shaking her head. ‘Worrying about what everyone else needs. There’s no help for you, is there?’
Simon looked more confused than ever as Stacey left the room, and Ottilie fought the oddest urge to laugh. It wasn’t funny at all, but that didn’t seem to make a bit of difference.
‘I wondered if you wanted me to take over so you could have some food. Heath is already sitting down.’
‘I’m not hungry, to be honest,’ Ottilie said. ‘But thank you.’
‘Perhaps there will be leftovers to take home,’ Simon said.
‘I’m sure there will be.’
‘I suppose it’s strange and difficult,’ he added after a significant pause.
‘What’s that?’
‘Having Heath here today. You’re dealing with it well, I have to say.’
There was that mad urge to laugh again. Dealing with it well? Many things could be said about the situation, but that wasn’t one of them. Perhaps it looked calmer from the outside than she’d imagined.
‘I need…I need some air.’
‘Are you all right?’
‘I’ll be fine – just in need of a breather.’
Whatever Simon said in reply was lost as she hurried out of the back door and into the rear courtyard of the communitycentre. Those majestic hills looked down on her, now falling into shadow as the sun slipped ever lower down in the sky, but for the first time that day she hardly noticed them. Nor did she notice the birds singing their evening chorus or the gnats hanging in the air above her head. What was going on? What did she feel? What did she want? She hadn’t a clue and everyone seemed to have an opinion on it, crowding in on her, confusing her even more.
She dragged in a long breath and turned her face to the sky. But her contemplation didn’t last long. The sound of the door opening brought her back. Heath was there with a plate of food in his hand.
‘Simon told me you hadn’t eaten.’
‘I wasn’t hungry.’
‘Maybe not, but I wondered if you just thought you were too busy. So I made you a hot beef sandwich. And there is no double entendre there – it really is just a hot beef sandwich.’
Despite herself, Ottilie giggled. ‘Thank you,’ she said as he sat next to her with the plate and handed it over. Taking it from him, she put it on the ground.
‘I’ve missed that laugh,’ he said.
‘I’ve missed your daft jokes.’
‘I’ve missed you. I don’t care if you want me to say it or not because I can’t keep it in any longer. I’ve missed you like crazy. I am sorry, you know. More sorry than I can say for what I did. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I realise now how bad it was. I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t forgive me.’
‘But you came today anyway.’
‘I had to. Even if we never got back together I couldn’t leave things how they were. I had to get…closure, I suppose. I wanted us to at least be friends again. Your friendship meant so much to me. I didn’t want you to disappear completely from my life. I had hoped you’d feel the same way.’
‘I do…I mean, I’m glad you wanted to…’
She was stumped again. She didn’t know how to respond because she didn’t know what she wanted. Or perhaps she did and couldn’t bring herself to say it.
‘This is ridiculous!’ she exclaimed finally.
‘What is?’
‘Me! I’m ridiculous! Yes, I want us to be friends – of course I do! It would be crazy to be anything else.’
