Page 30 of Petals and Strings
It might just be the best piece of cake I’d ever had. Or maybe it was just me appreciating the simple pleasures and letting that sliver of hope settle into my chest.
I’d tried, today. I fought to stay present and work through things. Tomorrow, I’d do it all over again.
I’d find that balance I craved.
That feeling stuck with me for the evening. When Nurse Nancy walked in with my medicine cup, I took it easily. Tilting it back and swallowing it down. I winced at the bitter taste. That was new.
“Is something different?”
She glanced at the chart then nodded. “Seems so. Dr. Malik made a change to several of your pills.”
And I’d already taken them. Panic started to rise but I swallowed it down until she walked away.
Would I still be aware tomorrow?
Chapter Eleven
Audrey
“Someone is here to visit, Audrey,” Nancy said as she bustled in the room. “Up and at ‘em. Meds first, of course.”
She held out the two cups, one with water, one with the pills that I was forced to take. Still no explanation of what I was putting into my body, just ‘here, bottoms up’ and I was expected to not protest.
And I didn’t.
I took both, swallowing down the pills and drowning them in water. The bitter taste lingered on my tongue for a few seconds after, making me wrinkle my nose.
“They might taste bad, but they’re effective,” Nancy chuckled. “You’re much more coherent than when we first brought you in.”
My memory of that day was still a bit fuzzy, but I remembered my pack there… before they walked away. Were they here to explain?
Were they the ones who saved me from that awful place? Would they do the same now?
“Is it my pack?”
She frowned. Then my brain woke up more, a reminder of the gardening and all the revelations I had sinking back in, reminding me that they were never mine.
“No… it’s your parents,” she said carefully. Something in her eyes changed. She was careful now, like she was dealing with something fragile, glancing at me like I was crazy and about to turn aggressive at any second.
I sighed, but didn’t dwell on Nancy.
My parents were here. They felt like strangers now.
I got dressed and ready for my day mechanically, following instructions from Nancy and letting her lead me to the lobby.
“There’s a visitation room just up here,” she explained as she led me toward a set of doors just off the main entrance.
My palms were so sweaty, heart pounding rapidly, that I shifted uncomfortably just outside of the door.
“They’re excited to see you,” she reassured me. It must be nice to have such a stable life that you thought the best of people. Assumed everyone and everything had good intentions.
I didn’t trust them anymore. They never found me. Hell, they didn’t even keep me when they did.
Maybe that wasn’t fair, but the resentment was strong. I suffered for over ten years while they lived their lives.
When I was out, we met again briefly. But I had a pack and I didn’t feel safe with them.
I still didn’t. Not from their first reaction in the hospital that day.
