Page 94 of Petals and Strings
I raised a brow as I sat back, running a hand along my buzzed hair and realizing I needed to see one of the nurses to buzz it again. I hated when it was longer. It was used against me once and I refused to let it grow out again.
He was gone before I finished that thought, storming out of the room and leaving me to clean up everyone’s mess. Something I’d absolutely give them shit about later.
Knowing Ansel and Audrey, they’d apologize before I could.
When I finished cleaning up, I started toward the gym. That was one thing I’d miss about this place when we left. There weren’t many buildings where we could have everything all of us needed in one spot. Art studio. Gym. Conservatory.
Though, maybe I could use some of my inheritance to make it happen. Find a place that was like this, just without all the bullshit. A community that was of our making, not somewhere we were treated like burdens.
If my father didn’t take it from me.
Shoving that dark thought away, I changed into gym shorts and stretched before heading for the treadmill. It didn’t take long before I was sweating, muscles burning, and my mind calming. It was one of the only ways I was able to truly let go.
To give my body the burn it craved. Especially since sparring and weapons training was obviously out.
This place stripped away so much of my old life that I felt like a different person. Like that person had died.
Yet, there were some things I craved.
Freedom.
Weapons.
Fighting.
Top-shelf booze.
The beeping of the treadmill next to me caught my attention and I glanced over, surprised to see Caspian.
He nodded once, but clearly, wasn’t interested in talking. Fine by me. It was nice to see him doing more than turning into a ghost, his body fading right along with his presence.
Muscle would do him some good.
Caspian didn’t say anything as he set his treadmill and started running, long hair tied up and a muscle shirt on unlike my bare chest.
When I moved, he moved. From running. To weights. I adjusted my routine, knowing he couldn’t sustain it. We’d start smaller and work our way up.
When I nodded at the locker room he was red-faced, drenched in sweat, but grinning back at me.
“Thanks, Ledger,” he said, shaking his head as we walked toward the showers. “Though, eventually, I’ll be ready for your real level. Don’t think I didn’t notice you dulling it down for me.”
I snorted. “Observant, Caspian. I’m not used to that.”
“It’s about fucking time for a change. Tatum would kick my ass for the last few years.”
“It wasn’t all a choice, my friend. We aren’t here because we had some run of the mill mental illnesses. We’re here because of broken bonds that wrecked our biology and our minds.”
“How the fuck do you stay so… steady? Normal?”
“Practice,” I admitted. “My dad prided himself on raising a strong, Russian boy. From childhood all I knew was keeping emotions locked away and pushing my body past its limits. I trained, fought, and killed for that man. My mind couldn’t break as easily when I wasn’t as invested. My bond was arranged. Forced. It’s different.”
“Fuck him,” Caspian said, shaking his head. “For what it’s worth. I’m sorry you had to endure that.”
“I was just thinking how I missed the fighting and sparring. The weight of weapons in my hand,” I said. “I can’t say I didn’t leave unscathed.””
“What happens when you’re released? Will he come for you?”
“I’m part of the mafia, Caspian. I’ll never truly be free. Though, if he disowned me, that would be my only chance. I haven’t spoken to him, but he pays my bills. I suppose that’s enough claim to keep me as a weapon.”
