Page 88 of Petals and Strings
“I wouldn’t know. All I remember is her face, I painted it enough they almost kicked me out of art therapy,” Kane admitted. He let us see the pain in his eyes, the way he hunched in on himself a little. It hurt, and he’d been hiding it.
My sweet beta never deserved this.
“I’ve worked with trauma-induced memory loss,” Ares said. “My suggestion is we do one on one, or you can have another person there if that helps. I help you relax, talk you into a half-asleep state and then we dive into those blocks. The aftermath isn’t always pretty. I’d rather not do that our first day, but I’m more than willing to take you there when you’re ready.”
“I’d like to do that sooner, rather than later,” Kane said. “It’s been years, Ares. I need to know if it’s my fault.”
Ares didn’t show pity, just understanding. “Tomorrow, then. Just be ready to face it. I’ll ask again tomorrow morning. You have plenty of time to back out, just know there is a point of no return. Once it starts, your brain won’t just block it again.”
“Okay,” Kane agreed, looking relieved. His hand sought mine out and I squeezed it gently. He wasn’t next to me but Ansel didn’t flinch as we held hands over him. Even he had changed a lot after our separation.
“Now, I’d like to do some individual assessments today as well. If you want to do it as a group since you’re supposedly a pack, that’s fine, too.”
“Not ‘supposedly.’ We are a pack,” I clarified. He didn’t argue this time.
“Together works for me,” Rydell said. I nodded along with him as the others let out their own agreement.
“Alright,” he said, flipping a few pages. “Let’s start with you, Rydell. I have in here that you were mandated here and they continue to label you as a danger to yourself and others.”
“Always a monster, right?” he asked in a hollow tone.
“I’ve worked with plenty of alphas with the dominance gene. You’re not a monster unless you let yourself be,” Ares argued. Again, no pity or sympathy, just saying what he thought was true.
This alpha continued to surprise me.
“My suggestion is we work first on anger management. Talk techniques, discuss what sent you here, and work through actual feelings,” he suggested.
Rydell simply nodded.
His gaze shifted to Caspian. “I’ve been told you’ve changed recently. Explain.”
“I lost my family in a shooting. Hell, I lost myself that day, too,” Caspian said, voice shaky but strong. “I spent the last four years living in memories and dissociating from this reality. Audrey came and my alpha recognized her. He awakened again and it kept me out of my head enough to try and stay present. When I brought up my fear of losing those memories, she suggested writing them down. I’ve been doing them in an online blog and some notebooks when I have to. Each one I write down, I feel a little lighter. Like I can breathe again knowing they won’t just disappear.”
He looked at me, a soft smile on his face that I easily returned.
“That’s a great technique. I’d have suggested something similar,” Ares said, his eyes flickering to mine and giving me a nod of approval. “We’ll continue with the journaling and discuss a plan moving forward now that you’re more yourself.”
Caspian let out a sigh. “Yeah. Okay. I think I’m ready for that.”
Ares nodded and his gaze shifted to Ledger. “Now, I recognize this last name.”
“I’m sure you do,” Ledger said with a hollow laugh. “My father’s name gets around, and so does mine by association. Though, seeing as he’s half the reason I’m here…”
He trailed off, Ares nodding as if he was aware. “So I hear. You’ve been marked as emotionally stable, your only medication is an antidepressant and anxiety medication. Correct?”
“Yup. They won’t let me off of them,” he agreed. “Though, Dr. Malik likes to shake it up every so often with higher doses.”
Again, that look passes Ares’ expression. Something that looks like determination. It’s there and gone so fast no one would notice if they weren’t studying him.
“Not anymore. We’ll work on that. Our goal here is getting you guysoutof here. If you’re healing then that’s a step in the right direction,” he said before turning to me. “And, the infamous Audrey.”
I let the comment roll off of me, he didn’t seem malicious, just confused.
“I was taken at seventeen and put in a breeding ring. Ten years of hell before they labeled me as defective and were supposed to kill me. I was dumped in a ditch on the edge of death but managed to survive. I was returned home but I went into a delusional state, creating a past with a pack I never had. Once the meds cleared my head, I’ve been trying to work through things without being punished for it.”
His jaw tightened more with every word. Heavy breaths and fury in his eyes were the first real sign of a reaction from him.
“I can promise you no one here will ever be sedated unless you truly show you’re harming yourself or someone here. I’m strong enough to handle what you throw at me,” he said firmly.
