Page 73 of Petals and Strings
That way they knew they weren’t alone.
I was still here.
There was a loud bang on my door that I ignored, continuing to play until my fingers ached as sharply as my heart.
When I couldn’t keep it up I finally tucked the violin away and passed out in my bed, awful dreams carrying me through the night.
A sharp knock on my door startled me awake. I blinked a few times in the early morning light, frowning as a nurse burst in.
“Meds. Take them and don’t fuss,” she bit out, shoving the cups in my hand. I eyed the pills, counting one, two, three, all the same size as before. “Take them.”
I tossed the cup back with a glare, drinking the water and handing them back.
“Open.”
I did as she asked, her rough fingers clutching my chin and tilting my head around to inspect every inch of my mouth for deceit.
Bitch.
She shoved my face away when she was satisfied and a sick part of me wanted it to bruise. So I could punish her for being so harsh while we were falling apart.
It seemed I always attracted the bad seeds.
“Get dressed. Breakfast in fifteen minutes. Group therapy after.”
She stormed out, likely to spread her sunshine to others. I took my time getting dressed. I was over letting this fucking place play around with us and our fragile minds.
Let them punish me. It couldn’t be worse than this.
When I stepped out of my room, Director Cross was waiting. He looked rough, dark circles under his gray eyes and he looked disheveled.
“What do you want?” my voice was laced in venom that had him recoiling.
“Don’t talk to the Director like that,” the nurse bit out. I hadn’t even realized she was nearby.
He turned to her. “After our last staff meeting, I thought I made it very clear that you weren’t to speak to my patients with anything less than respect.”
“She already put her hands on me. Respect isn’t going to be found here,” I said in a dull tone as I waited. “And again. Why are you here?”
He sighed. “I had to do it, Audrey.”
“Are you here to absolve your guilt?” I asked. “That’s not my job to do for you. This was a choice you made, now you get to watch the consequences roll in. We both know it won’t be pretty.”
He flinched at my words but shrugged. “I regret that it is going to be an adjustment for you all, but I did this to protect you, Audrey. We can’t have you bonding in a vulnerable state.”
“Sure,” I said evenly. There were liabilities involved. But again, they were viewing us as if we couldn’t make judgments and decisions on our own. Hell, half of us here were stable with meds, just locked in. We might come here broken beyond compare, but not all of us stayed that way. Malik brought me out of the fog.
Did he abuse it after? Yes, I knew he did. I saw those after-effects. We weren’t people to men like Malik.
I just didn’t expect Cross to be the same.
“Audrey,” he said, trying again to get through to me.
“No. Go watch the rest of my group crumble. Shut down. Know that every single step back they make is on your shoulders. I’m an adult, Cross. Just because someone broke me doesn’t mean I deserve to have every future choice taken from me. I think I’ve more than proven that my mind is my own again. Ifyou refuse to see it, refuse to see it in all of us and know that your people are the issue, not us, then I can’t help with that.”
I pushed past, refusing to stop as I walked to the dining hall.
No one said we had to sit with our new groups so I went to our usual table, smiling when I saw Ledger and Kane waiting.
