Page 48 of Petals and Strings
Poor Caspian had taken a turn for the worse, barely talking or moving without help. He was a living zombie, trapped only in his head. His scent of sage, honey, and cedar that was so strong and potent the other day, was now edged in a vile, poisonous edge.
Nancy snapped her fingers in front of my face, pulling me out of my head and gestured to the clothes.
“Therapy in five.”
That had me standing up and rushing to change out of my black sweats and soft tee for another set.
All the same.
I slid on my clogs and hurried toward the therapy offices. Theo made it very clear that I had to keep myself on time or else there’d be consequences. After I defied him in the dining hall he’d slowly unraveled, showing more and more of that evil simmering under the mask he wore.
Consequences. A word I heard so many times since being thrown in here but I wasn’t sure what that even entailed outside of sedation.
It was the only real threat I’d witnessed. Was more happening behind closed doors? With patients going missing, I wouldn’t be surprised.
It couldn’t be safe how often they used that fucking bracelet on patients. I’d seen more than one incident where patients would just drop, no one there to catch them but other patients. It was as if this place’s main goal was to strip away the humanity from us, and now they only saw us as dolls that were to be moved and manipulated.
If we didn’t think or function, we couldn’t act up, right?
The atrium was already bustling with staff as I rushed through, my anxiety rising the closer I got to the offices.
Fuck, this was going to be close.
The slow, creeping sense of dread rose in me, skittering through my veins and clinging to my chest so it was hard to breathe.
Dr. Malik had asked me if I had anxiety when I first arrived, and I’d lied through my fucking teeth. I’d rather swallow it down than take meds that slowed me down.
Being vulnerable was a hard no for me. Never again.
“Audrey.” My eyes closed in defeat, steps faltering before I spun around to face the director who’d put this damn bracelet on me. The same man who let men like Theo treat patients with no empathy and abused them under an unassuming guise.
Then there was the way Dr. Malik did a mass med change and he didn’t even bat a fucking eye. I hadn’t even seen him in days. The last time was during that temporary lockdown a few weeks ago.
“Yes?” I asked, my voice a harsh rush of air as I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I just wanted to check in. How are you settling?” There was no hint of the placating voice he’d had before. Now it sounded warm and clear, and I hated how soothing it was.
I studied him, waiting for my suspicions to be confirmed. His eyes had crinkles around them like he’d had plenty to laugh about in his life. A soft layer of stubble dusted over his chin, a few shades darker than his honey-colored hair. It made him appear more human. Like he had imperfections, too.
Gray eyes watched me, no hint of anything but patience and calm while he waited for me to answer.
My first instinct was to lie, to give him what he wanted to hear, but when I opened my mouth the truth tumbled out.
“This place is a damn joke.” My voice was even, letting no emotion seep in so he would take me seriously. Maybe someone just needed to lay it all out for him.
I was giving him a chance to fix this. One fucking chance. It was practical, he was really the only one capable of doing a damn thing.
His laughter was laced in shock and confusion. “What?”
“First real session with Theo, and your therapist tells me to face my past, then tries to sedate me when the memories hit and I don’t respond right away. Not everyone got to have lives of luxury and privilege. Those memories were blocked for a reason. How fucking dare you try and knock us out onceyouopen that can of worms?!”
My voice didn’t rise, I was smarter than that. It stayed an angry hiss as I let him have it.
“Your doctor asked questions, sure, but the medicine is given with no explanation to what I’m putting in my body. We might have trauma and pain, but we aren’t fucking stupid, Director Cross. We deserve basic respect. I asked multiple times and was outright ignored as he injected me with something that had me spiraling for days.”
He started to say something but I wasn’t finished with him yet. His mouth snapped shut as I barged ahead.
“Then, Caspian is coherent for the first time since I arrived. He was talking to us, responding, functioning on his own and not just a ghost lingering nearby. Wake up the next day and it’s a mass medication overhaul. No one was safe that day, Director Cross. People were zombies in the dining hall, too sick to speak or eat. I felt awful and just wanted to sink into my bed and never get up. I’m just now coming out of that one.”
