Page 32 of Petals and Strings
Anger flashed in his eyes for a moment. He nodded once, before gesturing for me to sit inside. I took a seat as he walked out, closing the door behind him.
Silent tears started to fall as they argued. Voices echoed in the hall, most sounding angry and indignant. The bickering went on forever, even as it faded out the front entrance.
When Director Cross opened the door again he let out a sigh.
“I’m sorry, Audrey. Usually we don’t allow drop-in visits. I don’t know how this happened but I will get to the bottom of it. In the meantime, they threw this out of the truck before driving away.”
He held up a small black case. My heart thumped in my chest, eyes widening at the sight.
My violin. The one thing I regretted never picking up again. It was the one piece of me that I remembered, that I thought of more as my mind cleared.
Music is how I survived that awful place, raspy quiet songs I sung to myself to keep myself from drowning in pain and depression.
“Can I keep it?”
“Yes. According to your team, you’ve not shown any sign of violence or outbursts, but don’t make us regret this decision, please,” he said as he sat behind his desk. “Or we’ll be forced to take it away.”
I nodded quickly. “Of course. I won’t.”
Before he could second guess it I snatched up the case and nearly ran for my room. I closed the door behind me and laid it on the bed. My fingers shook as I unlatched the case, lifting the lid to reveal my violin.
It was still just as beautiful as I remembered. The oak was clearly freshly polished. Someone let guilt get to them. At least it led to something good for once.
They were dying for me to react to them, to fall into their arms and thank them for waiting for me, for doing something kind like this.
I wasn’t that little girl anymore. Their approval meant nothing to me. Not when they weren’t even a safe place when I was back home.
They tiptoed around me and acted like I had some sort of disease they could catch from just being close.
I even heard my mom saying ‘who knows what she could have caught there,’ like I hadn’t been cleared by doctors before even being discharged from the hospital. I had too much healing to do to come home right away.
It was a miracle I even lived.
I wasn’t sure if they agreed.
My fingers skimmed along the surface, testing out the feel before picking it up. I held my breath as I lifted it into place, resting it against my chin and shoulder. The way it felt right andmade my omega perk up, was nearly enough to bring me to my knees.
Instead, I packed it back up and practically ran to the conservatory. It was nearly empty, only a few people milling around. It took me mere seconds to find Val but I was about to burst.
The tingling in my fingers, demanding that I hold my violin up and play, was enough to drive me crazy.
“Val!”
He startled, turning and grinning when he saw it was me.
“Couldn’t get enough of my plants, could you? I knew this was where you were needed,” he said like the sage old man he was. The sparkle in his eyes was there and I realized he was the first staff to look at me like a person, not a problem.
“Can I play violin in here?”
His eyebrows rose before he noticed the case in my hand. A faraway look settled in his eyes at the sight.
“I reckon you can as long as you’re good? Don’t go screeching that bow over those strings or these pretty, little flowers might wilt. How about we test it out, outside?”
“Sure,” I said, turning and rushing for the door, a spark of something fluttering in my chest. I already was sitting on the grass, violin in place, and testing out if it was tuned properly by the time he walked out.
He stood nearby, a calm smile on his face as I finally rolled my shoulders then put the bow to the strings.
I didn’t overthink or conjure up what I’d play, I let muscle-memory alone guide me. It was as naturally as breathing for me, it always had been.
