Page 23 of Nico
"She's yours, darling."
"I have no doubt. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"
She rubbed her hand over his. "Be her daddy. We're here for you and for her. Mother is planning on taking her shopping, and she's running around the room, touching everything. I'm going to spoil her."
"I have to be in her life. She's losing her mother."
Her eyes darkened. "She's suffering."
"Is she?" His tone had a cynical twist that had her staring at him.
"I do believe she is."
"She never contacted me." And that stung like hell. "I had a right to know."
"You did," she agreed. "She claimed she was afraid we would take the child away from her."
"And now she's giving her away."
"Yes." Nadine sighed. "I don't pretend to understand the why of it. But I'm not in her shoes."
"I have to tell Sadie." He felt his heart contracting and his palms sweating. "I'm going to lose her."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do," he nodded grimly.
"If she loves you-"
"It's not a matter of loving me. I would be asking her to take care of another woman's child. I cannot do that to her." A butterfly, pretty colors taking on the light from the sun, flitted from one rosebud to the next. This morning, he had woken up with the woman in his arms after making love to her last night and thismorning. If he had known it would be the last time, would he have stayed longer? Been gentler? Now he would never know.
"Darling, are you in love with her?"
He turned his head to stare at her. And saw his daughter. Yes, she was his daughter, no doubt about it. "I think I was heading that way." A smile curved his lips. "She's the most fascinating woman I've ever met, certainly the most beautiful."
"And you don't think there's a way to make it work?"
He shook his head. "I'm going to have to concentrate on her, on Gracie. I cannot pass on all the responsibilities to you and Mother." Lifting his free hand, he dragged it through his hair. "I'm not fit to be a father." It suddenly struck him how ill-equipped he really was. "I don't remember to buy groceries, and the house is always a mess. When I am working, I forget everything else."
"Which is why she's staying here with us. You could always move back."
"No." That much he was decisive about. He needed his space, which was the only way he could see himself doing his work.
"She'll be well looked after here. There are household staff to tend to her needs. She needs stability."
"You don't think I know that?" His temper erupted and had him shoving upwards and pacing away and back. His clothes were rumpled as usual, his hair badly needed cutting. "I don't know what the hell to do. I often forget to eat. A little girl needs fuel."
"Yes, she does," she responded quietly. "And she will get it." She rose and stepped towards him. "We're here and we'll help to navigate this journey with you." She slid her hand through his arm as he stopped and stared at the stream. "You'll get it. It will be difficult, but we'll get it."
He shrugged. "I suppose I'd better go and see her."
"Let's go together. She's a beautiful child."
*****
Sadie decided she wasn't going to call him again. She had called twice and left a message. She certainly did not want him thinking that she was desperate or a stalker. He might be working, and she knew when he was deep in the work, he ignored everything and everyone. She was going to leave him alone. It's not like they were joined at the hips. She could go several hours without hearing from him.
It's his own damn fault, she thought angrily as she stared at the screen. He had spoiled her. Texting, calling, showing up and making her feel as if she was the only one in his life. It was her fault for getting used to the attention.
