Page 100 of Silver Sanctuary
Her fingernails dug deep into her thighs. How long would this torture last? How long would Embrie be out there—scared, alone, waiting for them to find her? How many times had Nash said he’d always keep them safe? Lacy hoped that Embrie was clinging on to that now. As the sun set and the cool evening air spread through town, Lacy prayed her daughter was holding onto the promise Nash had made her as night began.
A night where she wouldn’t be with Embrie.
The first night Lacy wouldn’t be with her baby since she first held a newborn Embrie in her arms.
“Lacy?” Sloane’s voice pierced through the silent air.
“Did Nash… did he hear something? Did someone come forward?” Lacy jumped up from her chair, fighting through a wave of nausea.
“No. I’m sorry, there hasn’t been another update. He was starting to unravel a bit, so Stone was with him, and I just wanted to come out and check on you.”
The pressure behind her eyes overwhelmed her. It was too much. To hear Nash was falling apart because of her… She’d failed him. She’d failed Embrie. The most precious gifts she’d ever been given in life, the ones she was supposed to protect with everything she had… she’d failed at being a mom and a wife.
“I’m sorry, Sloane. Mae and Lily told me I didn’t have toapologize, but I do. And I need you to know that I am so sorry. I’m sorry for what my mother did to this town. I’m sorry that she was sick, and had an addiction, and I didn’t know how to get her help. I’m sorry that a little boy died because she drove under the influence of those drugs she loved more than me, and it changed everything in his family’s life. And how horrifically that impacted you. I’m responsible for so much pain and destruction and I can’t help but think that this is my payback. That Embrie was taken to balance the scales.”
“Lacy—”
“No!” she shouted. Taking a deep breath, Lacy tried to hold her voice steady. “No. I just had to say that. You don’t have to feel pressured to say something nice. I’m just so sorry, Sloane.”
The two women stood across from each other, silent for several passing heartbeats.
“You can tell me no,” Sloane said softly. “But I was wondering if I could give you a hug.”
Lacy froze. “Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you? My mother… everything that happened to you… I know you have to blame me.”
“I don’t blame you for a single bit of it. I don’t think any rational person would. I don’t have much to offer because I’m still working through my own trauma, but I have learned that leaning on my friends, on myfamily, helps tremendously. And youaremy family.”
“I would love a hug.” Lacy’s breath hitched as she forced her tears away. Sloane closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Lacy.
“You can let it out. It’s okay to not be okay right now. I’m not here to judge you, or tell you to be strong, or how to react in this situation. You’re safe with me. You just do whatever you need to, and I’ll keep everyone else at bay until you’re ready to go back inside.”
She held onto Sloane like her life depended on it. No tears fell, no words came out, but she still clung to her. Like this woman, who had suffered so much in her own life yet had made it through, could give her some magic solution to make everything better.
“Is he… is he okay?” Her voice shook as she forced her breath to even out. “I should be making sure he’s okay. I’m the worst wife.”
“You’re a mom who is worried about her child. Nash will be okay in the here and now because this is what they are trained for. These men will push their emotions down to make it calmly through the crisis at hand. They’ll come up with a plan, and do everything in their power to bring her back.” Sloane sighed, her arms still remaining tightly around Lacy. “It will be in those quiet moments after she’s back safe in your arms that you’ll need to be the strong one. You’ll need to be his safe place then. Because his mind is finally going to let him think about all the ways things could have gone wrong—all the ways he could have failed at protecting the both of you, on top of the guilt of what actually happened. He’s going to be the strong one now, keeping everything together for your marriage and your family. And you’ll be the strong one once the dust settles.”
“I love him so much, Sloane. I will be there for him. But he’s seeing me unravel and no one ever stays after that.”
“Do you really think that? After everything the two of you have faced in such a short time that this man isn’t in it to walk through life with you? I was there, Lacy. I heard the vows he made to you. Those weren’t copied from some website, or stolen from some movie. Those were words written from his soul. He will stay.”
Lacy loosened her hold on Sloane, who took a step back and gave her arms a squeeze.
“I think I need to go back to his office.”
“She’s been a little out of it since we came in here,” Sloane whispered as Lacy continued to stare at the artwork on Nash’s wall. The photograph was so beautiful. A wide open field, mountains off in the distance. She wondered if someone had taken it on his grandparents’ property in Montana. They were all supposed to go there together one day—to meet his family. Their first vacation together…
“I tried to get her to eat, or drink something, but she just wanted to sit and be here for when you came back.”
“Thanks, Sloane. Go get some rest.”
“I don’t want to go too far. I’ll just be with Gage if either of you needs anything.”
The door shut quietly, Lacy’s eyes finally catching Nash’s movements toward her.
“You should try to eat something.” He set another plate down on the coffee table next to the one filled with food that Sloane had tried to get her to eat, and Lacy’s stomach lurched.
“I can’t.” Her throat burned, more tears desperate to find their way out of her body. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t peel her eyes away from the fucking picture above his desk. All she could do was think over and over and over if Embrie would ever be able to go there one day. She’d been so excited to meet Nanny and Pops. What if she never…
