Page 54 of My Alien Bughead
I stop listening, my mind reeling over the fact that we’re no longer at the Alevvo station. Which means that Lucía is gone. I left her behind without even saying goodbye. My heart clenches, the pain flaring from my chest so agonizing tears stream from my eyes. She’s gone and I have nothing. Why didn’t Nikolai just let me die?
“Hey, D’Aakh, are you alright?” Nikolai asks, sounding concerned.
What a stupid question. How could I be alright? I just lost everything and I can’t even go back to Lucía, because Nikolai is right. The UGC would arrest me on sight. Or I’d die. Actually, dying doesn’t sound like a terrible idea.
“I’m sorry about the pain, but Z’Ree is resting and I can’t give you any more painkillers.”
“It’s fine.” It’s what I deserve. I fucked everything up. Well, almost everything. At least I saved Lucía. I didn’t fail like with Mzr. She can live a long, happy life. Without me.
I don’t cry myself to sleep. I fall asleep while crying. There’s a difference.
The next time I wake up, it’s daytime. Or at least, what passes for daytime on a spaceship. The pain is muted, which means that either Nikolai loaded me up with some high-quality drugs, or Z’Ree is nearby.
“Good morning.” Yep, Z’Ree is here. She offers me water and I accept it, even though I’m not really thirsty. I’m not…anything. I feel empty. I don’t even react when she unbuckles my restraints. “I’m sorry about these, but you move a lot in your sleep and Nikolai was worried you’d open up your wounds. Just…stay in bed this time, okay?”
“Okay.” I have no reason to get up, anyway.
Zarkan enters, his scowl reminding me of everything I’ve lost. My team, my job, my friends. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get some of it back. I’m not sure if I even want to.
Zarkan turns to Z’Ree. “Will you give us a moment, please?”
I brace myself for the onslaught of pain as she leaves the room but she must be staying close by enough for her crystal resonance magic to work on me, because I still feel fine. Except I’m not fine at all.
Zarkan leans against the wall, his expression guarded. “My first squad leader liked to smoke trexin,” he starts by saying, which was totally unexpected. “I was the only one who knew. I didn’t report him because he begged me not to. He promised he’d quit. Every time I confronted him, he swore he’d quit. I respected him so much I kept quiet. He never smoked before the missions, so I thought it would be alright. It wasn’t.”
I can already see how the story ends. “Someone got hurt.”
“Half of my squad died because the asshole was high and made the wrong call,” Zarkan growls. “He survived. Tried to lie his way out of it. It didn’t work,” he adds darkly. “I will tolerate a lot from my crew but I will never tolerate drugs. Never, D’Aakh.”
“I’m sorry,” I say the only thing I can. At least now I know why he’s so mad at me.
He heaves a deep sigh. “You know what would happen if we were still a Voidstalker squad.”
“I’d be out for good.”
“Yes. But…I don’t want you to leave. I love all of you idiots too much to lose you, so you’ll get a second chance.”
My emotions, muted so far, come rushing back, and relief floods me. I still have something. I still have my crew. “Thank you.”
“Not so fast.” Zarkan raises a finger. “There are conditions.”
“Of course. Anything.” At this point, I’d agree to anything just so that I can stay here and recover at least a semblance of my old life.
“You’ll obey Nikolai’s orders to the letter. No more running away from the infirmary, no more straining yourself when you’re supposed to rest. You’re off active duty for the time being and that includes working on the ship. Until you get better, I don’t want to see you with a weaponora tool in your hand.”
Ouch. That’s going to be a long, long few days. Or weeks? I shudder at the idea of not doing anything for weeks. “What about the ship? It still needs repairs.”
“The Serramorphs are learning fast, and we’ve hired a new technician. We’ve got it covered.”
Double ouch. They already hired someone to replace me. I guess I should be glad they didn’t simply kick me off the ship and are willing to give me another chance, but it still hurts. Still, I don’t have any choice but to accept it. “Alright.”
“‘Alright’? Aren’t you going to demand to know who I hired and what their skills are, then complain they’re useless and that you should do the job yourself?”
Damn, he knows me too well. “Would it help?”
“No.”
“Then I won’t say it.” I attempt a smile. “I’m not stupid, Captain.”
