Page 40 of My Alien Bughead
Z’Ree leans over me, the crystalline strands of her hair falling over her shoulder. “I won’t use my song on you against your will,” she says. “But you really need to stay in bed.” Instead of protesting, I groan at the sensation of a wet cloth being wiped over my forehead. Her huge purple eyes watch me with unnerving attention.
“I can’t stay in bed when Lucía is in danger,” I say, forcing myself to stay calm. As a former slave, Z’Ree won’t use her powers to drug me against my will. Not unless her mate deems me an immediate threat to myself or others. Then she’d knock me out without a second’s hesitation. I need to stop fighting and win them over with words instead. “That station is going to be attacked.”
“So we’ve heard,” Nikolai says. “But why is that such an issue? They’ll just surrender and get a new employer. No one will get hurt.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “Are you serious? Whoever is coming to take over Alevvo is breaking UGC laws in amajor way. Why would they leave any witnesses alive? They’ll slaughter every living soul on that station, then claim life support malfunctioned and everyone was already dead when they arrived. It will be suspicious as fuck but without witnesses, there’s no proof of wrong doing. Dead people don’t talk.”
“But that’s…”
“Barbaric?” I offer, wincing as the too loud word causes my headache to spike. “Mining corporations will stop at nothing to get what they want, not when billions of galactic units are at stake. We have to go back. We have to help them.”
“Do we?” Zarkan’s deep voice rumbles from the door. “They didn’t seem that interested in our help. You were conveniently unconscious, so you missed the goons that assaulted Nala and Ellen in the marketplace and the armed crowd that gathered in the docks.”
I shake my head, immediately regretting it when vertigo hits me like a hammer. “Armed with what? They have no weapons. They’re all going to die and I don’t believe for a second that you just agreed to leave them to their fate, Captain. That’s not you.”
“People change. I didn’t think my brilliant technician would become a drug addict, either.”
He’s not angry with me. He’s disappointed, which is a hundred times worse. Zarkan’s approval is something everyone in Nova squad strives for and seeing the disappointment in his eyes tears at my insides.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out. “I fucked up. You’re mad at me, and that’s totally fair, but don’t take it out on those innocent people. Even if half of them were evil monsters, that still leaves more than a hundred and fifty innocent souls that are going to be killed. We can’t just sit back and let it happen.”
Zarkan leans back against the wall and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Silence stretches as he examines me, his eyes tearing through the walls I’ve built around myself. “You couldhave talked to me,” he says eventually. There’s no mistaking the strain in his voice.
Nikolai and Z’Ree busy themselves in another part of the infirmary but they don’t leave the room. Or Z’Ree doesn’t, at least, because I can still feel the gentle hum of her song soothing me.
I don’t know what to say, so I tell my truth. “I could have.” Zarkan offered me help so many times and yet, I pushed him away every time. “But also, I couldn’t. This is not your fault, Captain. I knew what I was doing.”
“Somehow, I doubt that,” Zarkan sighs.
He might have a point, but now is not the time for discussing my many faults. We need to go back. “What about the Alevvo station?” What about Lucía? “You weren’t serious about leaving them.” It’s not a question, I realize. I may be in agony but my synapses are firing just fine.
“Was I not?” Zarkan retorts. Not a hint of his intentions seeping into his tone.
“We’re not in hyperspace,” I point out. Even through the throbbing headache, my ahni can easily detect the difference between regular engine power and the hyperdrive. “My guess is you want to teach them a lesson, so you’ve moved the ship out of range of their sensors. When they’re freaking out and desperate, we will swoop in and rescue them?” I hedge, praying I’m correct because if Zarkan truly refuses to help the people on that station, then Lucía’s fate is sealed and I can’t even run off to help her because I’m tied to a fucking bed.
Zarkan cocks the scaly ridge above his eye. “Perhaps I’m wary of using the hyperdrive until someone makes sure it’s safe? Since it seems I can’t trust my technician’s judgment anymore.”
That hurts. What’s worse, he’s right. I would have said that no matter what happened, my work would always be impeccable, but that’s not true. My stupidity almost cost Lucía her life oncealready. Who’s to say what else I might have fucked up when I was drugged out of my mind?
“I’m sorry,” I repeat, not knowing what else to say. Hearing that my captain doesn’t trust me anymore is worse than all of the pain I’ve been through so far. There’s only one thing that will trump it now—losing Lucía. “Please help them,” I beg, tears running down my face. Even crying hurts.
Zarkan doesn’t answer me but I’ve known him for a long time. He’ll do the right thing, he has to. He stops in the doorway, casting one last glance back at me. “Get better. Once you are, we’ll talk about what happens next.” With that, he leaves.
That’s it. He’s going to kick me off the ship. And who would blame him? If we were still in the UGC forces, I would have been swiftly shipped off to some rehab center to treat my “problem” then discharged, never to return to active duty again. Not being an official squad makes it even easier. Zarkan can simply leave me at the nearest planet or station. Or eject me through an airlock. It’s not as though anyone would miss me.
“Shh,” Z’Ree soothes, wiping my tears away because I’m unable to even do that. “It’s alright. Are you in pain?”
I’m in all kinds of pain but I deserve all of them. “I’m sorry,” I tell her. It’s my new fucking mantra and I’ll be repeating it for the rest of my miserable life.
“You have nothing to apologize for. We all make mistakes. The Captain is just worried about you. He’ll forgive you and everything will be alright again.”
I snort. As if. “No, I mean… I was horrible to you, back when we found you hiding on the ship. I never really apologized for it, so… I’m sorry.”
Her smile is wide and genuine as she says, “Apology accepted. Now, sleep.” Seeing I’m about to protest, Z’Ree raises a finger, her iridescent skin glimmering as it reflects the room’s light. “You were correct that we are not far from the station. I believeZarkan will be heading back there soon, so if you want the chance to convince him that you should go with them, you need to be rested.”
Galaxies, is everyone smarter than me these days? “You’re right. Thank you.”
“No problem. Now, sleep.”
