Page 61 of Bred Mate
“Are you mad at me?” He asks the question with a level of innocence that breaks my heart. How much longer is he going to get to keep that in this world?
“No, buddy,” I tell him. “It’s not your fault. Not yet.”
“Yet?”
“The choices you make from here on out will make a difference,” I tell him. If he decides to ally himself with our mom because she seems fun, I won’t be able to help him.
“I’m sorry!” he says. “I’m going to make my own PB&J from now on.”
“No, you’re not. You’re going to let Baldwin help you whenever you want it, because you deserve it.”
I cover his ears with my hands so he doesn’t have to hear the worst of what I have to say to this woman.
“So you married the old guy. Good for you. But you should know. I killed Patrick, and I’ll burn down everything you build in that forest. Nothing you try to construct will stay intact for more than a few months.”
I remove my hands from Connor’s head.
“Calm down,” Margaret says. “You’re not seeing the bigger picture.”
“What do you mean? A mega-mall?”
She gives a little sigh and motions for me to cover Connor’s ears again.
“I counted on you killing the boy,” she says. “He was an irritant. Now, when Rainer dies, the entirety of his fortune will revert to you. That includes the forest, my darling. I did this for you.”
I think about that for a second before coming to the conclusion it’s probably just another manipulation. I don’t know what she’s been doing for the last decade, but it has not been caring about us. There’s no reason for her to suddenly start now.
“It was a ridiculous, outlandish, and entirely unlikely plan, Mother,” I say. “With almost no chance of actually working out.”
“Excuse me.” Rainer has returned. He speaks softly enough that ignoring him is no hardship. I am too angry, too confused, too generally fucking mad to pay attention to the man who bankrolled the destruction of the place I used to call home.
“I don’t want fucking dividends,” I say. “I want the wilderness.”
“Excuse me,” Rainer says again.
“You’re still missing the point, Ellie. I’m beginning to think that being uneducated in a swamp might have had some negative effects on your intellectual development,” my mother says in her most precious bitchy tone.
“You think?”
“Excuse me!” Rainer lifts his voice, forcing us all to pay attention. This is the point we collectively realize that he has a shotgun trained on Connor and me. He was standing just behind my mother, but he steps forward in front of her.
“I’m sorry, Margaret, but I lost a son to these monsters, and they have to pay. A life for a life. A son for a son.”
“Rainer, you’re overreacting,” she sighs. “And if you use that thing inside, you’ll ruin the new tile. Think about what you’re doing.”
But he’s not thinking. He’s furious. He’s grieving. He’s finally discovered what it feels like to lose, and he does not like it, not even a little bit.
I see his finger start to squeeze the trigger.
Nobody can move fast enough. That’s what I think, anyway. There’s just barely enough time for me to pull Connor behind me. Karl tries to get in the way, but nobody moves faster than a gun fires.
I figure these are the last few seconds of my life. I hope it doesn’t hurt too badly. And I hope Karl fucking kills both of themonce I’m dead. I feel an odd sense of peace, as if everything is happening the way it should. Maybe this was how it was always going to go. I’ve had precious few choices in my life. I didn’t choose to be abandoned in the woods, and I didn’t choose to be Karl’s mate. Since I was born, I did what I had to in order to try to make things good and safe for the people who depended on me.
Now I’m going to die because someone who doesn’t care about goodness or safety is furious at me for the inevitable consequences of making me his victim.
I see it all in super high definition, ultra-slow motion, as if my brain has some power to turn this moment into a small eternity.
“To hell with it, Rainer,” my mother says right before she shifts.
