Page 130 of Slew Foot
“Well, obviously,” Rafe said with a smile. “But if you’re not up for it, you’re not up for it.”
Mickey let out a frustrated groan and clutched his head as he muttered something in German before he switched to English. “But if you want, I can try.”
Rafe scowled. What hewantedwas for Mickey to feel better. And for him to not keep trying to shut him the fuck out. He was the smartest guy Rafe knew in a lot of ways, but right now, well, he was being pretty fucking dumb about this.
Rafe said as much, though a little more nicely, when he told Mickey it wasn’t worth risking him feeling worse.
Mickey’s face crumpled. “I hate that I can’t be what you need.”
“You’rewhat I need,” Rafe argued. He snuggled closer, rubbing his cheek against Mickey’s chest.
Mickey sighed. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, but honestly, it’s okay,” he assured Mickey. “I can wait. Or jerk off in the shower or whatever.”
Mickey gritted his teeth, clearly not reassured. “It’s not okay that I can’t give you this. Not with me.”
Rafe shrugged. Would he rather have Mickey get him off? Hell yeah. But it wasn’t like he didn’t know how to get himself off in the shower. He’d spent plenty of time doing that over the years. What was one more time?
By the time Rafe was dressed and ready to leave for practice, Mickey was eating breakfast on the couch and watching some German TV show for kids on his laptop. It looked old. Maybe something from his childhood or something. It made Rafe worry about him even more.
Nostalgia didn’t seem to be Mickey’s thing.
Rafe cleared his throat and Mickey looked up. He had … well, Tanner had called it resting bitch face once, but he had a very serious expression most of the time. His face was sowarmwhen he smiled but like this, yeah, Rafe supposed it did look a little bitchy.
It made Rafe love him even more. He wanted to see that face every morning and every night for the rest of his life. But it sure seemed like Mickey was trying to pull away now.
Ugh, stupid man, Rafe thought as he bent down and brushed his lips across Mickey’s.
“Heading to practice?” Mickey asked thickly.
“Yeah.” Tanner had already left, which meant Rafe was runningreallylate actually. “You’re going in a little later, right?”
“Yep. In about half an hour, a ride share’s coming for me. I have a meeting with Hoyt and Racine, then yoga with Dakota.”
Rafe frowned. He wished Mickey would ride with him and hang out in the players’ lounge, but he’d said it was too hard to handle the noise of so many people talking at once. Not to mention the TV that was usually on and the gaming guys sometimes did there. “What’s the meeting about?”
“Just checking how I’m doing, I guess.” Mickey made a face.
“Hey, they care. We all do.”
“I know.” Mickey tipped his head back. “I just hate this.”
“I know,” Rafe echoed as he gently grasped the back of Mickey’s neck. “But I love you.”
“I love you too,” Mickey whispered. But he sounded so …lostRafe felt an ache in the center of his chest.
So despite the fact that he should have left ten minutes ago, he took his time kissing Mickey because he hated how disconnected he felt from him lately.
And Mickey probably felt even worse.
He wasn’t only feeling cut off from Rafe, he was disconnected from the team, from hockey …
Rafe thought about how to fix it as he left the apartment and drove to HCI.
He wasstillthinking about it while he did his workout. He really needed to talk to someone who had been in a situation like this, but he wasn’t sure who.
Connor was the obvious choice, since he was captain and dating a teammate, but he was not exactly a guy who talked about his feelings a lot. He just sort of grunted about stuff.
