Page 39 of Slew Foot
“What have I told you about saying sorry?” Mickey rested his hand on Rafe’s thigh. Through the thin fabric, his skin was hot and a little sweaty.
Rafe ducked his head. “I—I don’t mean to?—”
“I know.” Mickey squeezed a little, the movement too much of a reflex to stop. “But you don’t have to apologize to me. I’m not mad at you.”
“No?” Rafe stole a glance at him.
Mickey shook his head. “The guys are just teasing.”
“I—I know.”
“What we do out on the ice, that’s working for us, right?” Mickey asked earnestly, studying Rafe’s face.
Rafe nodded. “Yeah.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No! We’re playing well. I don’t want to fuck that up.”
Mickey shrugged. “So, the guys can give us all the shit they want but it doesn’t matter.”
“I know. But they think—” Rafe stopped, biting his lip.
“Does it matter?” Mickey asked, looking him in the eye. “What they think?”
“But we’re not …” Rafe dropped his voice. “We’re not doing anything … kinky.”
We could be, Mickey thought, but that wasn’t fair. Rafe had made himself clear.
And maybe Mickey was reading him all wrong. Maybe in bedheliked to be the one in charge.
“We’re not,” Mickey agreed instead. “So it doesn’t matter, right?”
“Uhh, I guess not.”
Mickey squeezed his thigh. “Good.”
Rafe let out this funny little stuttering breath and Mickey forced himself to lift his hand away.
He wasn’t doing this. Hewasn’t.
Not to himself, not to Rafe. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
So when the guys made plans to go out and celebrate at O’Neill’s Pub, he turned them down. “I think I’m going to, uh, do something on my own,” he said.
“Like what?” Rafe was all smiley and happy right now and Mickey couldn’t quite look him in the eye.
“Like, a hookup,” he admitted, swallowing hard.
Rafe blinked, his expression falling a little. “Oh, okay. I thought we were going to celebrate together.”
“Another time,” Mickey said, feeling guilty but knowing this was the right call.
He couldn’t handle happy, smiley Rafe all night, crowding into his space and smelling good. It would make him do something stupid. Something that could ruin their friendship.
And if he found a guy on the app who was big and dark-haired and put him on his hands and knees and fucked him while he imagined he was Rafe, well, no one else needed to know.
It didn’t make him feel any better. If anything, it made him feel worse.
