Page 143 of Slew Foot
“Probably,” Mickey agreed. He leaned over and kissed Rafe’s bare shoulder. “But seriously, you need to be able to do this. You need to be the kind of player I know you can be. Maybe we’ll always play our best hockey together, but it’s important for youto be able to play with the call-ups too. Just think about me while you’re out there.”
Rafe rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to fall in love with someone else just because we play together.”
“No, I knowthat,” Mickey said with a small laugh. “I didn’t mean think about me that way. I mean think about what I would tell you if I was on the ice with you. You’re agreatplayer, Rafe. You are. You don’t always trust yourself to know what the right play is. But I think you have all of the pieces up there and if you trust yourself, you’ll blow everyone out of the water.”
Rafe turned to face him, shifting until he sat cross-legged by Mickey’s knee. “Sometimes I think you don’t realize that either.”
“What?” Mickey said.
“Well, like … you’re all worried about how I play without you but what if it went the other way? What if I was the one who was out?”
Mickey opened his mouth to protest but Rafe just looked at him. “You weren’t having a great season before I got here.”
Mickey deflated because, damn it, Rafe was right. “Maybe it’s not confidence for you, exactly,” Rafe said. “I don’t know. But I think you don’t trust the other guys you play with. You bark orders but you don’t really communicate.”
Mickey snapped his mouth shut. “Scheiße,” he whispered fervently because Rafe had nailed that one. Mickey might not like it, but it was accurate.
“Hey! I know what that one means,” Rafe joked.
Mickey smiled, but he was still thinking about what Rafe had said. “Well,” he finally said. “I guess I’ll have something to work on when I get back.”
“When?” Rafe asked hopefully.
Mickey shrugged. “I mean, I don’t feel any different than I did when the ringing and vertigo started but we have to have hope, don’t we?”
“Yeah,” Rafe said. “We do.”
Mickey leaned in and kissed him. As he set the tablet aside and gently pulled Rafe down over him, he felt okay. Not great, but okay.
Even if the world did go a little swimmy every time he changed direction and the good days were sometimes overshadowed by the terrible ones, he was learning how to cope with it.
He was learning to appreciate the good ones, or even the okay ones. He was learning to take advantage of them. Of stealing kisses and savoring the moments.
As he lay there, pinned between Rafe’s heavy body and the mattress, his tongue exploring Rafe’s mouth and his cock growing hard, he thought maybe this was going to be his new normal.
He thought of the STI test results he’d gotten—all clear, thankfully—and he wondered if it made sense to keep waiting for a miracle to happen before they took advantage of it. Maybe he should let Rafe ride him, maybe he shouldn’t wait for the magic day when he felt like himself again.
He slid a hand up Rafe’s back to grasp his neck, feeling when he went soft and pliant against Mickey except for the hard press of his cock against Mickey’s hip.
“Maybe …” he whispered.
“Mmm?” Rafe asked, lifting his head, his lips kiss-swollen and his hair mussed already.
On the other hand, Rafe had a point of holding out hope for something.
“Nothing,” Mickey said. “Just want to say I love you.”
Rafe beamed. “I love you too. Can I suck you off? Not cockwarming, but a blowjob?”
“You can, if you want,” Mickey said. “But maybe we keep doing this, but with a few less clothes and some lube?”
Rafe nodded eagerly. “Whatever you want.”
He means that, Mickey thought with a little pang in his chest as he rolled over, everything in his head swirling a little.
It was humbling to know how deeply Rafe trusted him. How eager he was to please.
Even as Mickey plucked the lube out of the drawer, pulled Rafe’s short shorts off, and pushed him down onto the bed, even as he stripped off his own clothing and pressed their bodies together, he thought of what he needed to do next.
