Page 17 of The Girlfriend Card
“Why aren’t you interested?If it’s money, I can offer you more. How’s 20K sound?”
My eyebrow arched at that figure. I didn’t need the money. But twenty grand was a significant chunk of change to throw around for a couple hours’ work. Whowasthis guy, exactly, and what ‘industry’ was he in? I was curious, sure, but not anywhere near curious enough to do the job.
“It’s not the money,” I wrote back.
“Okay, then what is it?”
Ugh,I wondered,what do I tell him?
I tapped out a bullshit-sounding reply that still had its roots in the truth. “I’m looking for a new experience. I’ve already done a role like this before.”
“Whoa whoa whoa.... WHAT???”
I face-palmed when I realized my error: I’d only made him more interested, and his texts continued to ping my phone.
“Are you serious?? You’ve pretended to be someone’s girlfriend??”
“Yes. But I didn’t enjoy it. Which is why I don’t care about the money. I don’t ever want to do it again. Sorry again, but I wish you the best of luck!”
“COME ON!!! You’re just saying all this to torture me right now, right??”He couldn’t believe what I was telling him. Literally. I suppose I couldn’t blame him.“Brett, if this is you dicking with me, I’m gonna snap. Not funny, bro.”
“I’m not Brett, whoever that is.”
“Yeah. Right. Whatever you say, Brett.”
I ignored him and set my phone aside again.
A few minutes later, though, my phone began to ring. I chortled when I saw the number was Craigslist Guy’s.
No thanks.I rolled my eyes and rejected the call.
He fired off another text a minute later.“Brett, I KNOW this is you. Got a burner phone just for this, huh? That’s so fucking lame bro! I’m in a crisis over here, and you’re seriously gonna prank me?? The least you can do is answer the phone and own up to it when I call you out, bro.”
He rang me again.
I sighed. What stupid ‘bro’ drama had I gotten myself sucked into? I didn’t want to answer, but this guy seemed convinced I was a friend named Brett, and on the verge of ending their friendship over it.
I didn’t need the bad karma weighing on my soul, so this time, I picked up.
“Hi, Craigslist Guy,” I said, irritation in my voice. “This is me, Theater Girl, not Brett.”
He chuckled with surprise. “Oh. Hey. Sorry about that, Theater Girl.” The voice on the other end, deep and velvety, warmed me like a sip of smooth whiskey. “I was convinced you were Brett.”
“I could tell. Who is this Brett character, anyway?”
“My best friend. We uh—we prank each other a lot.” I liked his laugh; he sounded magnetic and fun. “Sorry. You probably thought I was a psycho.”
“A little, yeah. Which is why I answered. I wanted to make sure you didn’t kill Brett because of me.”
He laughed. “Thanks to you, Brett lives …for now.”
I smiled. “Anyway …” I trailed off, making the first move to end our call.
But he didn’t take the hint. “So where are you right now, anyway? Sounds windy as shit on your end.”
“I’m outdoors.”
“Oh really? I thought you lived in a wind tunnel,” he teased. “Obviously, you’re outdoors. But where? On top of a mountain?”
