Page 78 of Best Man
“Sasha …” She bowed her head. She hated herself for what she was about to say—was this not everything she wanted? What waswrongwith her? “I can’t.”
He squeezed her hand. “Why not?”
“Dallas isn’t home for me.Thisis. I live here. I work here! My parents need me. We’re right in the middle of the growing season, and—”
“But the farm is changing,” he said. “They don’t need your help anymore. They can hire help now. You told me all about it last night. You’re free to do whatever you want now, Paulina! So come with me.” He pulled her closer. “Besides,Ineed you.”
“What do you need me for?”
“I’ve never met anyone like you before. I can’t let you go.” He shook his head resolutely. “I could never forgive myself.”
Shewantedhim to win her over, but she couldn’t let it show. “What about Jax? You said he’d kill you.”
“I’ll tell him. Will he be mad at me? Yes, but give him time. He’ll get over it. Even I forgave Reavo when he started dating Katya.”
“But that’s because Derek is madly in love with your sister. It wasn’t just sex with them.”
“But …” Sasha recoiled, his soft eyes looking vulnerable. “But this wasn’t just sex, either.”
“Aw. Sasha.” She frowned, her heart breaking, too. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but itwasjust sex … for me.”
His shoulders drooped. “Really?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry.”
She saw the pain in his eyes as he considered this reality for a moment—but a moment later, he shook his head, refusing to believe it, and the pain vanished. “No. I don’t believe you, Paulina. It wasn’t just sex. Not for me and not for you. You felt something. I know you did.” He pulled her closer. “Tell me you did.”
Deep down, she knew he was right, but to admit that to herself was to open her heart to pain and rejection. She backed away and folded her arms. “I’m sorry, Sasha. You can believe whatever you want, but that’s all it was.”
“You’re serious right now?”
“Sorry.”
“Huh.” He dropped his gaze and stared at his shoes. “Well. Okay.”
She searched the stars. “Listen …” she began, wanting to soften the blow somehow.
“No, no.” He took a step away from her and shook his head—he was protecting himself now. And she understood why, but she hated it. “I’m just being stupid. It was just sex. Of course it was. Well, hey.” He stuck out a hand to shake. “Nice to meet you, anyway.”
“Sasha. Please. Don’t be like this.” She rolled her eyes. His hand stayed extended. “I’m not going to shake your hand. Give me a hug, at least.”
“Fine.”
He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. She was grateful he hadn’t given her a lame pity hug, and she pressed herself tight against his chest one last time.
Just before he pulled away, he whispered something in her ear.
“Ya tebya lyublyu, Paulina.”
Paulina couldn’t speak Russian, of course, but she still felt the import of those mysteriously powerful words.
“Hey, what’d you just say to me?” she asked.
He had begun his retreat towards the bus queue. “Nothing.”
“Yes, you did! You said something in Russian. What does it mean?”
He shrugged, turned his back to her, and walked away. “What does it matter now?”
