Page 36 of Keeper
Ainsley
I am officially the biggest tease ever,I thought.And this guy is going to hate my guts.
Okay, yeah, Tanner was far from the perfect gentleman tonight. It’s true, he pushed the boundaries all night. But ever since I told him to tone it down, he’d beenverywell behaved. We made out for the length of anentiremovie,for God’s sake, while we somehow kept our make-out session rated PG-13. I didn’t even think that waspossiblefor two adults anymore.
And, yeah, Tanner might be something of a player. Let’s be honest, there’s no ‘might’ about it—IknowI’m not the first girl he’s ever brought back to his palatial bachelor pad, because he’s way too good looking andwaytoo smooth for this not to be a habit of his. I mean, those deep and soulful kisses? My God. Talk about panty melting.
But I can’t say I didn’t want him every bit as badly as he wanted me. In fact, I wanted Tanner more than I’d ever wantedanyguy, which is kind of crazy because I didn’t know him atall.Yet after an hour of making out, my panties were completely soaked. My pussyachedfor him. And judging by the rock solid bulge in his pants, he was hurting for me, too.
But none of that mattered.
The only thing that mattered was, right after I gave Tanner the green light, I started having doubts. And when Tanner dragged his rough, titan-sized hand up my thigh, my pleasure was eclipsed by a sudden panic.
Wait.
We can’t do this.
You’re only here for a single weekend.
You’ll never see this guy again.
I wanted to scream at myself:Are you serious, brain?! You’ll jump into bed with that utter idiot back home who made a fool out of you to the entire school—no, to the entire INTERNET—but you won’t sleep with the hottest guy you’ve ever talked to?!
But it didn’t matter how hot he was or how badly I wanted him.
Deep down, I knew it was too soon to sleep with a new guy. I wasn’t just hurt, I was stillembarrassed.I couldn’t risk making another mistake when I was still reeling from my last one.
I shut my eyes and pulled the pin on the grenade. “Wait! Tanner, I’m so sorry. We can’t.”
He paused. Then he dropped his head, as if all the life was sucked out of his body, and buried his face in the couch cushions.
I felt so rotten. I wrapped my arms around his big torso and stroked his luscious locks of hair, whispering, “I’m so sorry.” I hoped he could find it within himself to forgive me.
“It’s okay,” he said. Even though his voice was muffled by the cushion, I could hear the crushing disappointment in his voice.
After getting him so worked up all night, I thought theleastI could do was offer him a blowjob … but my brain had a sarcastic answer for that, too.
Yeah, Ainsley! A blowjob! Smart! What trouble could a blowjob possibly land you in?
I rolled my eyes at myself. Iloathedmyself, probably even more than Tanner did at that very moment. But what else could I do? The timing wasn’t right. I’d hate myself evenmoreif I gave in when I knew it wasn’t wise.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, whispering in his ear. “Do you hate me, Tanner?”
With his face still in the cushion, he shook his head. “Nah. I don’t hate you.”
I didn’t believe him.
“Do you want to take me to the hotel now?” I asked.
“Only if you want to go,” he said.
I didn’t want to leave his place, but I didn’t want to sleep with him, either. I was being selfish. Even still, having him put me up in a hotel seemed selfish, since I didn’t have the money to pay for it. I didn’t know what to do, and by this point, I was certain he’d had it with my hot-and-cold act and wanted nothing more than to swing his door open and toss me out into the night.
Once again, Tanner sensed my hesitation. “I have a bed in the guestroom, if you’d rather stay the night here.”
“Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all. That’s what it’s there for.”
