Page 85 of Bad Teammate
“I do. You’re smart and driven. You’re talented and independent. Despite the shit you’ve had to go through in life, you’ve still got this brightness about you. When you walk into a room, you light it right up with your presence.”
I fought off a growing smile. “Oh, stop it.”
“I’m serious, Katerina. You know what bothered me most, when I was injured and thinking about retirement?”
“That women stopped throwing themselves at you?”
“No, not that. The fear of not knowing what comes next in life after hockey. I still have no idea what I’m going to do. Freaks me out. My whole life I’ve been traveling this road, and it was really obvious where I was going. But now? Now it’s getting dark, and my headlights only light up the road right in front of my nose. I can’t see where the road leads. I’ve got no idea where I’m going or what I’m going to do with myself once I retire.”
I frowned. I could relate. I’d found myself scrambling to find something meaningful after piano.
“I know what that feels like,” I said.
“I know you do. And maybe that’s what attracts me to you the most. You’ve already gone through what I fear. And yeah, itsucks,and I know it still hurts you to this day. But you’re so much stronger because of what you’ve been through.”
“Thank you,” I said. I wasn’t sure if what he was saying was true—I didn’tfeelstrong—but I appreciated the sentiment anyway. “That means a lot to me.”
“Of course.” He smiled at me. “It’s funny. I never meant to pour my heart out like this. I only wanted to tell you about your brother. But damn, I’m glad I did, because everything feels soclearto me now. Earlier, I felt so torn—”
“Torn between what?”
“The right thing to do for my career, and the right thing to do for my heart. But now it’s clear. Now I know what to do.”
“What’re you saying?” I asked, my breath growing shallow.
“Katerina.” He scooted closer. “I’m falling for you.”
“You’rewhat?”
My heart raced, pulse pounding in my neck.
“You just said you’re fallingfor me,” I repeated, breathless.
“I did. And I meant it.” He took my hand in his. “Katerina, I want you to stay. Don’t go back to Russia just yet. Stay, even if it’s just for a few more days, and let’s see where things take us.”
“Wow,” I stammered. “But what about Sasha?”
“I’ll figure it out. I’ll talk to him and the team management, if I need to. I’ll deal with the fallout.”
“But you said it could be the end of your career!”
“Yup.” He nodded. “And it might be. Hell, I might get traded. But I can’t let you get away that easily. And as long as I have you? I’m not so worried about what happens after the end of my career. Actually, I’m kind of looking forward to it. In the past couple years—and getting to spend so much time with Mack—I’ve started thinking about how nice it’d be to start a family.”
“Derek … oh my God. I can’t believe you’re talking like this! I don’t even know what to say.”
“Just say what’s in your heart.” Gently, he squeezed my hand. His eyes never strayed from mine. “Will you stay? Even if it’s just for a few days?”
30
Derek
Katerina’s features looked so soft and delicate in the glow of the streetlamps.God,she was gorgeous—but she had my heart in her hands, whether she knew it or not.
My chest pounded while I awaited Katerina’s answer.I hadn’t planned this. All I’dtrulymeant to tell her was that her brother knew about us, and that’s why I’d lied to her.
But once I saw her, once I got her alone and could hold her hand and look into her eyes, all the confusion I’d felt earlier lifted like a morning fog. Staring into her eyes, Iknewwhat the right thing was; I could feel it inside me. Just like that, my heart opened and I told her the truth. I couldn’t believe how easily it all came out. Or how certain I was when I put everything on the line.
Before I showed up at her hotel room, if you’d told me I’d end up begging her to stay, I probably would’ve gotten cold feet out of fear. But a funny thing happens when you tell the truth. You don’t care what the consequences are, because you know you’ve done the right thing. And that’s the only thing that matters. If anyone has a problem with the truth … well, fuck ’em.
