Page 51 of Bad Teammate
—but I quickly tamped those bad thoughts back down to where they came from before they ruined the mood. Because I was tired of waiting for something that wasn’t going to happen. Tired of waiting for a decent man. Tired of being theoneperson on Earth who shelved her desires for the sake of others. When wasIever going to get what I wanted?
My body was ready, even if my mind wasn’t.
But Derek’s hand had suddenly grown shy. Something was wrong. I could see the doubt lurking behind his eyes.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s … um …”
He couldn’t even look me in the eye.
He was having second thoughts. I could read it in his face.
“Oh my God,” I muttered. I began to thrash my limbs. “Get off me!”
He sat up and I scrambled to get away from him. We sat at opposite ends of the couch and eyed each other.
“Katerina, I’m sorry. We can’t,” he said, his face racked with guilt. “I want you so bad—you have no idea. But we both know we can’t do this. We’re playing with something dangerous here.”
“I can’t believe you.” I buried my face in my hands. “Did you really have to develop a consciencenow?Couldn’t you just fuck me like I was one of your random club girls?”
There was a long silence between us.
“Look. You’renotsome random club girl, okay? You’re Niko’s sister.”
My eyes narrowed with anger. Why dideverythingin my life have to revolve around Sasha?
“I’mmorethan just somebody’s sister,” I said.
“Well, yeah—of course you are,” he said. “You’re smart and sexy and beautiful. And believe me, if you weren’t related to Niko, I’d beallover you. Hell, I’m alreadyall over you when I’m trying not to be—but you know what I’m trying to say.”
“No, I don’t. Please, explain it to me.”
“Katerina …” He trailed off with a sigh. “Let me put it to you like this. I’ve been in the NHL for ten years. I’ve played with some great players in my time. But the best I’veeverplayed with, hands down, is your brother. He’s only eighteen years old, which means he’s only going to get better. He’s a generational talent.”
My teeth clenched. “And?”
“And the last thing I want to do is step on his feet or do anything that would piss him off. What if he found out that we’ve been fooling around? There’s no telling what could happen. He might ask for a trade. We’d be fucked if we lost him. And I don’t want to be the guy responsible for that. Ican’tbe. It’d end my career.”
“You know—” My jaw worked back and forth as I considered telling him something that I kept buried deep down inside. “Nah. Nevermind.”
Derek’s ears perked up. “No, tell me. What is it?”
Ugh. Fine.
“I love my brother.” I took a deep breath. “But I amsosick and tired of hearing about how great he is.”
Derek’s eyes widened with surprise. “Oh. Er.” He didn’t know what to say. He looked as if I’d just blasphemed. “Yeah, I can only imagine how hard it is, being the older sister of an insanely talented sibling.”
“See?” I laughed. “You’re still talking him up, even when you’re trying to empathize with me. You can’t even help yourself.”
“I’m sorry if you don’t like to hear it, Katerina. But he really is that good.”
“He’s my brother. I’ve watched his whole career. You think I don’t know how good he is?” I rolled my eyes. “Growing up, I was just as talented at piano as Sasha is at hockey. If not more talented.”
Derek snickered.
“You think that’s funny?”
