Page 123 of Bad Teammate
Deep down, I feared this meant she didn’t want to be with me like I wanted to be with her. I worried that this was only the beginning of the end.
I guess a smarter man—a man more in touch with his emotions—would’ve said all that, right then and there. But it all happened so fast, I didn’t know how to process or make sense of all those jumbled, confused feelings.
So I did what us guys do. I forced a smile and agreed with her.
“Yeah,” I said, unconvincingly. “Sure.”
She reached across the balcony table and grabbed my hand. “You’re not mad, are you?”
“No, of course not,” I said with a phony chuckle. I wasn’t mad at all. I was hurt. “You have to live somewhere.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Um. You’re welcome to come with me, if you want.”
This time, I didn’t have to force a smile—I just wanted to be with my lady. “Sure.”
What Katerinadidn’tknow when she invited me along was that I’d be an absolutely horrible apartment-hunting buddy. Every place the realtor showed us, I found loaded with critical flaws. They were too small. The neighborhood was too dangerous. They were too far from my place. They were too old, too musty and moldy, too flimsily built. Whatever was wrong with any given apartment, trust me, I was gonna find it—not that I had to look very hard.
By the end of the day, Katerina and the realtor both looked like they were ready to tear their hair out in frustration with me. Kat asked the realtor to leave us alone for a minute, and then we officially had our first fight in an empty studio apartment in Lower Greenville.
She folded her arms. “What are you doing, Derek? You’ve trash-talked every single place she’s shown me. You’re acting completely unreasonable.”
“I’m not unreasonable. This place really is a dump,” I said. “So far, every place she’s shown us has been a dump. Theoneplace she showed us thatwasn’ta dump was located on the corner of ‘Oh My God’and ‘Run For Your Life.’ You deserve to live somewhere nice, Kat.”
Her palm met her forehead. “First of all, not a single place she’s shown us has been a ‘dump.’ I grew up in a much,muchworse building than this. Second, she’s showing me these buildings because I gave her a price range, andthisis the kind of place I can afford.”
“Then I’ll help you out,” I said. “It’s no problem for me. I’ve got plenty of money.”
“I can’t take your money. It wouldn’t feel right.”
“But I don’t want you living in a place like this,” I said. “Besides, it’s too far. I want you nearby.”
“I can’t afford your area, Derek,” she said. “You’re rich. I’m not.”
“Then why won’t you let me help you?”
“Because …” she trailed off, shaking her head. “Because I don’t want to feel dependent on you for money.”
Frustrated, I sighed. And the truth finally came out.
“I don’t see why you can’t just live with me,” I said.
She quietly gasped and her eyes softened. “I … I didn’t know you felt that way,” she said. “I thought you wantedme to move out.”
“Me?” I chuffed. “You’re the one who brought it up out of nowhere.”
“We never talked about it,” she said. “What was I supposed to think? I didn’t want toassumethat you wanted me to move in. It felt like even asking a question like that was overstepping my bounds.”
I let out a deep breath. “Sorry. Honestly, Kat, I never even thought about it like that. I guess I assumed that you alreadyhadmoved in for good.”
Then I told her how I really felt—that she’d already moved into my heart. That I wanted her and needed her and loved all the little things she did, and all the time we spent together, and living separately felt like taking a step backwards in our relationship.
“Oh, Derek,” she said, squeezing herself against me. “You’re so sweet. My God, I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
We hugged and kissed and made up. Scampering out of that studio hand in hand, we found the realtor and told her we weren’t interested anymore and rode off into the sunset together, a young and happy couple. We went home, walked intoourpenthouse, and had the hottest, most emotionally raw sex of my life.
Afterward, though, I couldn’t sleep. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking. After going through that whole ordeal, a funny thing started to happen—and something inside me clicked. Makeup sex was hot and all, but I’d give it up entirely if it meant we’d never fight again. I never wanted to go through a misunderstanding like that with Katerina ever again.
