Page 77 of Crush
“There is more, actually.” He lowered his voice. “I'm going to let Chloe in on a little secret: that I brought you those roses because I'm going to ask you out on arealdate.”
“Shea!” I protested. “No!”
“—but don't get your hopes up too much, 'Chloe,'because I have no idea how Brynn feels about going out on a date with me in the first place.”
“Obviously,she'll think that I'm going to leap at the chance for a date with you, because of that stupid picture of me standing in front of your kiss-covered poster.”
Shea broke into a cocky grin. “Well, yeah, I was kinda banking on that same thing, too.”
I tutted. I wanted to stay mad at him, but he was slowly starting to win me over. “Do you really think that's going to work? And not just create an even bigger drama bomb for us both?”
“I don't see any other way out of this, Brynn. Do you? It's the closest thing to the truth that I can tell her. And yes, after hearing that she's still feeling mixed up about the divorce, of course I'm worried about her getting her hopes up for us—and that's why I'malsogoing to tell her that regardless of what happens between you and me, I'm going to start taking her to therapy sessions.”
I bobbed my head. “I think that's a really good idea.”
“Lastly,I'm only telling her all of this because I think she's grown up and mature enough to handle it, and so I need her to promise that she won't tell the twins about Dad and Brynn. Or her mom, for that matter, because that'd only cause her trouble.”
I mulled it over, trying to find a flaw in his plan. It wasn't perfect, no, but then again, nothing about this situation was perfect. Whichever path we took, things were going to get a little messy.
After thinking it through, I wasn't crazy about the idea, but I couldn't come up with any hard objections, either.
“I don't know what to say. If you think that this is the right thing to do, I won't stop you.”
“It's the best I've got, Brynn. Look, the truth is, we fucked things up the other night. Bad. But now the cat's out of the bag, and we can't keep denying it to each other. Or to Chloe.”
Hesitantly, I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Sometimes, I wonder if maybe I should've kissed you that first night after all. Maybe then, we would've realized right away that we had something—and we could've tried dating instead?” He shrugged. “Who knows, though. Maybe that kiss would've scared you off entirely and we'd have never seen you again.”
I giggled. “Your facewaskind of gnarly looking, with the stitches and the dried blood. You'd gotten into a fight that night, remember?”
He laughed. “Ah-ha. You would've pushed me away. I was right to wait, then.”
“No,” I said, surrendering to a smile. “I wanted to kiss you anyway. You really blew it.”
“That's why I want a clean start with you.” He neared and took my hand. “Brynn, since your very first day, it's like you stepped into this house and filled a hole ineveryone'sheart. A hole that none of us even knew we had.”
I frowned. That was so sweet.
“But now that you've filled it, I realize how much you mean to me, and I can't just let you go. You're so much more than a nanny, Brynn. And now I realize that I was a fuckin' idiot to think that I could keep you around as a nanny. A smart, sexy, hilarious nanny with a great butt that I've been secretly checking out since the very beginning—”
The captain put his massive hands on my waist and turned me to the side so he could steal a glance at my rear.
“Shea!” I wiggled away from him and gave him a playful smack to the cheek.
“And Ialsorealized, that's because of my own screwed-up brain. Because if you'rejustmy nanny, you can't break my heart. I can keep you … forever … as long as I pay you so much money, you can't quit.” He shook his head. “But that's not true, either. I'm sorry, Brynn.”
He put his arms around my back and pulled me near. I ran my hands along his thick, muscled forearms.
“Think I'm fucked up in the head?” he asked, inching closer.
“Honestly?” I giggled. “Sorta.”
Shea leaned in for a kiss, but I stopped him.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Why not?”
