Page 34 of Crush
I'm talking, of course, about the first night I worked for Shea—when I almost kissed him.
Gah!
Ack!
Just saying it makes me break into a cold sweat.
But could anyone really blame me? When Shea offered to walk me to my car that first night, I thought something was, well, just a littlestrange.Seriously, I was parked in the driveway. Did Ireallyneed his gentlemanly escort? Of course not.
So my heart started beating a little faster.
I got my hopes and dreams up, thinking the athlete was planning to make a move.
Yes, I convinced myselfthatthiswas how it all went down. This was how I got my fairy tale ending. The nanny whosomehowended up interviewing with her childhood crush, a famous hockey player, who was now struggling to juggle the demands of a pro career and single fatherhood. How perfect, right?
Uggg.
I fell for it. I fell for my own storybook narrative.
And so, when Shea walked me the twenty feet out to my car, I was sure it was for someotherreason than the fact he was just a nice, stand-up kind of guy.
And while Shea wasactuallymoving to politely close my door for me—Ithought he was reaching out to kiss me.
So I shut my eyes and waited.
I even stood on my tip-toes to reach his lips.
But he wasn't trying to make a move on me, and the kiss never came. And when I opened my eyes again, Shea was holding the door, a look of regret on his face.
Oh.
Oh no.
I was so embarrassed. I camesoclose to calling Shea the next day and telling him that I wasn't a good fit for his family. But something about those kids of his kept me from chickening out.
Thankfully, Shea has never brought that moment up. I guess it was just easier that we both pretend like it never happened.
***
Pickles craned his neck as Chloe scratched his favorite spot, right on the chin. Her rant about the Sadie and Adam love-triangle moved into teen self-deprecation.
“I'm so awkward … my face is so weird looking … I have all mydad'sgenes, ugh … big nose, big eyes, big everything.”
I laughed. “You're not weird looking, Chloe, you're very, very pretty. And this might not be what you want to hear, but your dad is a very handsome man, too.”
“I can't believe you just said my dad ishandsome!” Chloe squealed loudly.
“Chloe!” I whispered. “Quiet or he'll hear you!”
“So what if he hears us?”
“He could get the wrong idea. I wasn't being salacious about your father—I was trying to make a point.He'shandsome, and you've inherited those good looks yourself.”
Chloe rolled her eyes. “If I were aboy,handsome would be great. But there's a reason nobody ever calls a girl handsome, Brynn, and you know it.”
“You're beautiful, Chloe, you just don't know it yet.”
“Yeah, right.” She sighed. “You'rebeautiful, Brynn. I wish I looked like you. I doubt you ever had to worry about being ugly when you were my age.”
