Page 83 of Crush
“Mikey didn't even wait to see if I could get my period back. He left shortly after I got my diagnosis. He was so pissed that I'd destroyed my body and ruined our chance at having children together. I begged him to stay, that in theworst-casescenario we could adopt a baby, but he wouldn't have it. He yelled that he would never 'raise another man's seed.'”
“What an idiot.” An ember of rage kindled in Shea's eyes. “I guarantee you, he regrets leaving a girl like you.”
“Thanks. That's kind of you.” I chuckled. “But honestly, I doubt it. Mikey married another girl pretty quickly after our divorce. She's already given him three kids.”
My gaze dropped to the floor, but Shea lifted my chin.
“I doubt she'shalfas beautiful or as kind as you are.”
I wrapped my hand around his muscled forearm. “Shea, you're sweet. But I'm a completely different girl than the one I was with Mikey. I told you, I was a mess. I bet he still thinks from time to time what a bullet he dodged by dumping me. I can't blame him.”
“Then he's an even bigger idiot,” Shea snarled. “An immature boy.”
I laughed. “Why do you say that?”
“Because he doesn't even knowthe quality of the woman he left behind. The ability to have a baby isn't the only goddamn thing a woman is good for, Brynn.”
I nodded, but the lump in my throat grew so swollen, it ached.
“So what, you're not perfect—but who is? You've learned from your mistakes, and they've molded you into an incredible person. And now you're helping moldmykids into incredible people, too. The difference between who Chloe was two months ago, and the confident,slightlymore patient girl she's starting to become?” Shea paused to reconsidered. “Besides the hijinks she pulled tonight, that is.”
I laughed.
“Or how about the twins? They're actually doingtheir homework now. Their grades are up. They're eating more and starting to put on a little weight. Small things, sure, but I was struggling with those small things before you came along. And I owe it all to you, Brynn. You've taken your life's lessons and used them to help other people out. I mean, damn, isn't that the most important thing anyone can do on this Earth? Hell, what haveIdone in my life? I'm just a big dumb hockey player whogets treated like some kind of larger-than-life hero, but all I do is play agamefor a living.That's it. I haven't done anything compared to you.”
A tear silently rolled down my cheek. “That's sweet, but no, you've done a lot. You've been a role model for kids. You've helped your teammates grow and become men. You even made a thirteen-year-old girl smooch a poster …!”
We both laughed, and when the laughter died down, Shea gently stroked the tears from my cheek with his thick finger. He cupped my cheek and I closed my eyes and waited. We'd bared our hearts and souls to each other, and now our mouths met in a soft, tender, almost somber embrace—and sure enough, I could taste the salt of my tears on his lips. I'd never been so moved, so touched by a kiss in my life.
But there was still more to say.
I pulled away. “But wait.”
“Hm?”
“There's areasonI told you all that, Shea.”
“What is it?”
“Because Iwillhave a child of my own someday. If my period doesn't return, I plan to adopt. Being a parent is a big thing for me now—it's why I became a nanny. The funny thing is, I wasn't baby crazy at all—all I cared about was working out—until I was told I was infertile. Now, the thought of not having kids just kills me on the inside.”
“Makes total sense, Brynn.”
“Every time I date a guy, I have to give them this speech—because I don't know what the future holds. And I know, it's awkward to bring this up early—but after Mikey, I need to becertainthat I'm not wasting any more of my time. So if I know a guy doesn't want kids, or simply isn't willing to adopt if we have to go that route, then … the writing is on the wall for us.”
I stared at him, studied his reaction, made sure he understoodtotallywhat I was telling him.
Shea chuckled, slightly uncomfortably. “Well … uh … I honestly thought I was done having kids.”
I frowned. “I know. I remember you saying that.”
“But if you're saying what I think you're saying … and everything between us works out …”
Shea let out a deep breath. Slowly, he began to nod.
“I'd do it, Brynn.”
I laughed in disbelief. “Really?”
