Page 10 of Crush
“But I'm serious, Brad. Before we waste each other's time, I need an answer. So, do you want to have kids?”
He looked at me as if I were insane. And hey, maybe I was.
“Wow. This is seriously happening? You really need to knowright nowif I want to have kids someday?”
I nodded.
“Jesus,” he huffed. “I dunno. Yeah, maybe? I guess I do. Why? Do you?”
“Ido,but I might not get the chance.”
Brad chuckled. “You're how old? Twenty-seven? Hey, I get it, the clock is starting to tick for you, but you've still got plenty of time, Brynn. Women are having babies later and later these days.”
“That's not what I meant.” I shook my head. “I'm infertile, Brad.”
The jokey smile finally left his face. “You wha'?”
“I'm infertile. That's why I was asking if you want kids someday. Because if you do, there's a good chance I won't be able to give them to you. Most likely, we'd have to adopt, but nowI'mreallygetting ahead of myself …”
“Shit. I'm uh, I'm so sorry, Brynn.” Brad's eyes darted around the room. “You have a diagnosis?”
“Hypothalamic amenorrhea,” I said.
One of the nice things about Brad being a paramedic was that, for once, I didn't have to explain my condition to a guy. He heard it, processed it, and shook his head.
“Well, HA, that's usually temporary, right?”
“That's what they say. But it's been years now, and the doctors aren't sure. They say there's a good chance it won't ever happen.”
He frowned. “Damn. What's the story?”
I sighed. “It's a long story.”
He nodded.
And I was saddled with the realization that I haddefinitelymurdered the mood. Brad didn't want to kiss me or grope me so much after I laid that one on him—what was I thinking? Even if he truly didn't want kids, there was no way anything steamy was happening between us tonight.
I shook my head. “I'm sorry to drop that on you. Dating is kind of a strange, emotional thing for me now. I've been burned in the past because of my condition.”
“Well, I uh, I don't know what to say, Brynn.”
“You don't have to say anything. You can take some time and think about it. I like you, Brad, and that's why I had to tell you before things went any further. I'd feel dishonest if I didn't tell you sooner.”
“Right on.”
Yeah. Right on.
The mood was dead, but Brad stuck it out with me for a little while longer, checking his wristwatch every so often. After twenty minutes on the dot, he finished his drink, stood and announced that he'd had a great night, but he needed to head back home.
I showed him to the door. I had a funny feeling in my heart that this was the last time I'd see Brad again. The crazy part was that I couldn't even bemadat the guy, because a true sleaze would be the type to stick around and say anything just to get laid.
That didn't make it hurt any less, though.
I climbed into bed but my mind just wouldn't let me sleep. With nothing else to do, I pulled out my laptop, and Pickles kept me company while I browsed the agency site for a new nanny job.
Chapter 4
Shea
