Page 33 of Forbidden Puck
“… Anyone ever tell you that you've got a lot of personality?” I asked her.
“Oh, yes. They've also told me that I'm loud, that I'm too much to handle, and that I'm too demanding. That's the abridged list of my personality flaws, but I'm sure you could find more.” She smiled. “What are yours?”
“I …” I stalled.
I couldn't think of a good answer, and I quickly grew anxious. That treasure chest of mine flashed into my mind but I forced the thought away—I couldn'tpossiblytell her about that, and besides, what personality trait was that in the first place? 'I like to collect naughty things.'Jesus, what the hell was my problem, anyway?Was I too afraid to even look at myself? Is that what Ella meant earlier about an age-old problem?
Thankfully, Ella came to my rescue before I went too far off the deep end.
“Whoa there, Radar. Don't blow a gasket. You don't actually have to answer that.”
I tried to play it cool. “What? I'm fine.”
Ella sighed. “Screw it. You wanna know the long answer about my honesty policy?”
“If you really want to share it, sure.”
“My Dad cheated on my Mom.”
I made a horrified frown. “Yikes … sorry.”
“You don't have to apologize for him. Anyway, I was 13 when I figured it out—not because I'm some skilled detective, but because my Dad was that bad at hiding it. I was furious. I went to him and told him he'd better tell Mom first, or I would. He told me not to, that she already knew and it'd only upset her. Of course, I didn't believe him.”
“And?”
“I told her. And he was right. Sheknew,Ryan, she just chose to pretend like she didn't know and ignore it. When I told her, it was like I'd ripped off a painful scab of hers. All it did was make her upset, and furious, both at Dadandat me.”
I squeezed her shoulder. “Ella. That's gotta be a tough thing for a kid to go through.”
“Yeah, it was. And that's when I decided I wouldn't live a life that required me to lie—to anyone else or myself.Especiallymyself.”
“Lance never mentioned anything about your parents like that …”
“I'm not surprised. He needed them to stay together for his career. If they got a divorce, does he still become the hockey player he is today? Can you imagine two divorced parents trying to share custody of two kids, while also managing their day jobs and all the travel and day-to-day sacrifices they had to make for Lance?”
“You've definitely got a point.” I knew how much time and energymyparents had to invest in me for me to reach this level, after all.
The water taxi's motor slowed as we neared the pier in Boston.
“So, maybe now you can see why we're always fighting,” she said with a smile to lighten the mood. “Sorry to make things all dark and about my fucked up family history.”
“Not at all, Ella. Thanks for telling me.”
We filed off the boat and headed for MacAllister's by foot.
“But this is fun, Ryan,” she said to me as we walked. “Thanks again for taking me out. Really.”
It was the first time she'd used my real name. Not many people call me that. I don't mind being called Radar, not at all, but I always appreciated the sense of closeness that came when a friend used my real name.
“You're welcome, Ella.”
“Just don't tell Lance, right? Kidding, kidding! Hey, what do the guys on the team think of Lance's girlfriend?”
“Well, everyone gives him shit about it, because the wordsbutt modelset him off.”
She tittered. “So they've all seen her Instagram, I take it?”
“Oh, more than justseenit.” I nudged her elbow. “Weall follow her on Instagram. We don't wanna miss a single pic.”
