Page 86 of Living for Truth
Dr. Badar turns down the lights and props my feet up in the stirrups, then gently inserts the wand into my vagina. The big screen facing us shows up in black, white, and gray as Dr. Badar wiggles the wand, checking both of my ovaries. She moves the wand up a little bit more, and there it is.
The tiny little bean-shaped thing in a sac.
Our baby.
But this ultrasound looks a little strange compared to the other ones I’ve had. I just can’t pinpoint why.
“There they are! I’m just going to turn the sound up to check the heart rates…” Dr. Badar turns a dial, and thewhoosh whoosh whooshof a tiny little heartbeat fills the room.
Morgan squeezes my hand as we listen and tears spring to my eyes.
“Wait, did you say heartrates?” Morgan says, and my eyes snap back to the screen.
“Oh, yes. Here.” Dr. Badar zooms in on the monitor. “This is baby A, and their heart rate is about 168 bpm,and this is baby B whose heart rate is about 165 bpm. That’s exactly where they should be. You’re measuring at about nine weeks and two days. That puts your due date at February 15th.”
“We’re havingtwobabies?” My blood is pounding in my ears. I just came to terms with the fact I am pregnant with one baby, but now there aretwo?
“Will they be fraternal or identical?” Morgan asks, sounding much calmer than I feel.
“Fraternal. They have different sacks. Do twins run on either side of your family?” Dr. Badar asks.
“My aunts are identical twins, but they’re the only ones,” I whisper.
“I’m a fraternal twin, and my mom’s sisters are fraternal twins,” Morgan says.
“Ah, well, that explains it, then. Alright, I’m going to pull the wand out now and clean you up—okay, Hannah?”
I can’t speak, so I simply nod.
Dr. Badar hands me the ultrasound pictures and a pregnancy welcome bag, tells us to schedule an appointment in a week to go over test results and for another ultrasound, and sends me to the lab to get blood drawn. Morgan heads to the waiting room while the nurse pokes my skin and takes the blood needed, and then I’m sent on my way.
The drive home is quiet, both of us still processing the news. When we pull into the garage, we just sit there in silence.
“Twins,” Morgan whispers.
“Twins,” I echo.
“Holy shit.”
“Holy shit, indeed.” The back of my eyes begin to burn. “I can’t lose two babies at once. I won’t survive it.”
Morgan rushes out of the car and flings open my car door, looking at me at eye level. “Nothing is going to happen to these babies.” He puts a hand gently on my stomach.
“You can’t promise that. You don’t have any control over it,” I sob.
“You’re right, but I’m manifesting this. These babies are going to grow and grow inside you, and when they’re fully grown and ready, they will come out and be loved unconditionally. Aly is going to be so excited to be a big sister, and my siblings are going to lose their shit because there will be two babies to dote on. Sage is going to be the best bonus aunt ever, and we are going to be the best parents.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I love you.”
I want to believe him, I want to believe he can see into our future and it’s exactly the way he painted it, but I’ve done this song and dance before. I’ve gotten hopeful, only to have my hopes crash and burn.
I can’t tell him I don’t believe him when he sounds so sincere and so hopeful, so I simply nod.
Only time will tell if he’s right.
Chapter 40
