Page 73 of Living for Truth
As much as I want kids to be in our future, the topic is a sore spot for Hannah after everything she’s been through, and my baby brother just had to go and put his foot in his mouth.
To take the spotlight off of Hannah, I say, “I think we’re all more interested to know about your big news.”
“Yes, yes, let’s all get a plate filled, and Kendall can give us the news.” Mom claps, ushering us to serve ourselves buffet-style.
Once we’ve loaded up our plates and gathered around the table, Kendall tells us Utah is the new home to a Major League Rugby team, and he’s been recruited to join. He’s here looking for a place to live while he trains for the upcoming season.
“Doesn’t the Union season start in September? That’s a pretty quick turnaround,” Asha points out.
“While waiting for the facility to be completed here, we've been training in PA for the last few months. We only have two weeks off to find housing and get situated,” Kendall explains.
“Well, you’re more than welcome to stay here until you find a permanent place to live, honey,” Mom offers.
Kendall gives her a grateful nod, and the conversation switches back to my girlfriend.
Everyone asks Hannah a thousand questions about herself. How many siblings does she have? Where does she work? Did she grow up in Utah?
Once Hannah mentions she grew up Mormon, the questions come even faster. My family isn’t unfamiliar with the church, but none of us have ever considered joining. Being surrounded by the culture is fascinating in the way a car wreck is fascinating. You want to know more information, but you’re glad you’re not part of it.
“So your parents are still members of the church even though you’re not?” Dad asks, and Hannah nods.
“They’re not happy about it. They even kicked me out when I started dating Morgan because he’s not a member, and they think he’s a bad influence on me,”Hannah explains. I squeeze her thigh under the table, letting her know I’ve got her.
“What the hell does that matter? Morgan’s not a bad person just because he doesn’t believe whatever the Mormons believe,” Alice scoffs.
“I know,” Hannah sighs. “But there’s a certain standard in the church people are expected to uphold, and non-members are looked down on unless they show an ounce of interest in joining. I married my ex when I was eighteen because he was a respectable member, and I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. I would never encourage an eighteen-year-old to get married so young.”
Everyone’s jaws drop at that bit of information.
“Can I ask a personal question about something I saw on Tiktok?” Sarah asks.
Hannah nods.
“Is it true there are secret ceremonies done in the temple? Where they strip you naked and pour oil all over you? And you vow to cut out your bowels if you deny the church or something?”
Hannah nods again, fiddling with her necklace anxiously. “The oil ceremony changed around 2006, where they had you completely naked. When I went through before I got married, I was naked underneath a cloth that looked like a pillowcase with the head and arms cut out of it. Instead of pouring oil all over my body, they just poured it on my head. They would do it a few times, ring a bell, say some words, and then I got to put on my church-appointed garments.
“The bowel thing is real. They even make you do a slashing motion over your stomach to solidify the wholething. They make a lot of veiled threats about what will happen to you if you deny the gospel, but I honestly have so much of it blocked out because it was so traumatizing.”
I’m grateful Aly finished her food and went to play outside for a bit. This is not a conversation I want her to hear.
“That sounds like a super scary violation of privacy.” Asha shakes her head.
Everyone murmurs their agreement, various levels of disgust and horror on their faces.
“Is it true you don’t get to wear your own wedding dress when you get married in the temple?” Sarah pipes up again.
Hannah’s leg bounces anxiously, so I set my palm on her thigh to try and calm her. “It depends on what your dress looks like. It has to be white as paper—they even hold up a piece of paper to compare it—and long-sleeved. There are other articles of clothing you have to wear during your sealing ceremony over the dress, too, so the dress is covered anyway. Taking pictures or videos isn’t allowed in the temple, so it’s not like anyone knows.”
“What kinds of things do you have to wear over it?” I ask.
“Well there’s a robe that looks like a half toga, a white sash, an apron that’s made to look like it's made of fig leaves to represent Adam and Eve in Eden, and women get a veil while men get a hat that looks like a chef’s hat. For shoes, the men have white loafers, but the women get literal slippers to wear in the temple, all with white socks.”
“So basically you have to cover the expensive dress you bought or not wear it during the ceremony? That seems like a waste of money,” Mom says, shaking her head.
“Yeah, it can be. For me, I just picked out a simple white dress that didn’t cost a lot. My ceremony was made of only close family members that had temple recommends, and the reception took place in the gym of my parents’ church. Not exactly my dream wedding, but I didn’t know I had any other options at the time.”
When we get married, she will have the wedding of her dreams. If she wants to have a big party with an expensive-ass dress and a live band—it’s hers. If she wants to have a destination wedding in Ireland—done. Whatever she wants, I will give her. She deserves to have the weddingshewants.
