Page 13 of Living for Truth
Bean meows in solidarity with his favorite person before following her. I hear him scratch at the door, Aly opens it for him then shuts it again.
This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation, and I know it won’t be the last, but it gets more and more exhausting every single time.
I try not to scare her, but I want her to be informed about the dangers of the world, and the reality is sleepovers aren’t safe. Too many children have been sexually abused at the hands of “kind” parents or siblings, and I won’t risk my daughter’s safety.
I gather our plates, cover her half eaten spaghetti, put it in the fridge, load the dishwasher, and then walk over to her door.
I knock gently then call out, “Aly? Can we talk for a minute?”
“No. I’m not ready to talk to you,” she calls back.
“Okay. You know where to find me when you are. I love you.”
She doesn’t say it back, but that’s okay. I’ve taught her she doesn't have to say it back, and she doesn't have to talk to me if she doesn't want to. It sucks because I just want to fix it, but I also want her to be able to have her space if she needs it.
I walk downstairs, plopping myself on the couch, and Bagel follows me, settling on my lap as soon as I sit down. I lay my head back and go through the highs and lows of the day.
The high for today was creating a bouquet for a high school kid who was taking flowers to his very first girlfriend. He was so nervous but so sweet.
The low was hurting Aly’s feelings. I always hate fighting with her; it breaks my heart.
Another low was not getting the name of that gorgeous woman at the shop.
My butterfly.
That’s what I’ve been calling her in my head. Beautiful, graceful, and flying away before I could catch her.
Thinking about her makes me think of Hannah, so I pull my phone from my pocket and open our text thread. We haven’t talked much today, so I type out a quick message.
Morgan:Happy Friday! Quick question. Would it be unprofessional to get someone’s number at work?
Hannah:Happy Friday to you, too. I don’t think so, as long as you’re not creepy about it.
Morgan:Damn. The most stunning girl came in today, and I didn’t even get her name.
Hannah:A girl? Huh. That’s a bummer. Maybe she’ll come in again, and you can get it next time?
My brow furrows. Why would me being interested in a girl confuse Hann—OH! Right. When I originally texted her, it was about Blake.
Morgan:Ah, I’m bi. I like men and women, no need to be confused lol. I hope she comes in again, but it’s all good if not.
Morgan:What have you been up to today?
Hannah:Ooooooh. Okay. That makes sense.
Hannah:It’s my mom’s birthday, so we went tolunch, and then she and my dad left town for a week-long getaway, so I took them to the airport.
Morgan:Party at your place, then? ;)
Hannah:LOL right. I work tomorrow, but Sunday will be a nice break. I don’t have to go to church to keep up the image with my parents, and I’m not sure what I want to do with myself.
Morgan:Are you part of the Mormon book club? Why would you need to keep the image that you’re going to church?
Hannah:Unfortunately, I am part of it. I don’t want to be even more of a disappointment to my parents. I’m already divorced at 26, I don’t want to disappoint them by leaving the church, too.
Morgan:That seems like a heavy expectation to carry.
Morgan:What would your ideal Sunday be, if you didn’t have to go to church?
