Page 1 of Living for Truth
Prologue
Hannah
My phone pings again, probably my coworkers wondering when I’ll be coming back to work.
I wish I had an answer.
How much time are you supposed to take after your entire world gets flipped on its axis? How much of a grieving period is allowed when you’re grieving the loss of someone who was supposed to be the love of your life?
How long am I allowed to grieve the seven babies I never even got to hold? People say it’s easier because I never got to meet them.
They’re wrong.
I stillfeltthem. I stilllovedthem. I carried them in my body. They werepart of me.Even for a blip in time. Losing them was like losing parts of myself, and those are parts I will never get back.
I’m about to close my eyes and go back to the blissful void of sleep, where I don’t have to think about my reality, when there’s a soft knock on the door.
“Hannah, I have food for you. Your favorite! Chicken and dumplings,” Mom’s voice calls out, and I sigh, shoving the covers off and making it to the door in two steps.
I live in my childhood room again. Where the walls are no longer the bright teal of my youth but a pale sage green that’s actually quite lovely. The full-size wrought iron bed is still the same, creaking when I move, especially now that I weigh more than I did as a teenager. My bookshelves are still here but empty since I haven’t unpacked my belongings yet. It doesn’t look like my childhood room at all, thank goodness.
It’s still in my childhood home, though. Where my “concerned” mom keeps trying to “cheer me up” by doing things I don’t actually like.
I don’t like chicken and dumplings—that’sherfavorite. Dumplings always feel too mushy and taste like I’m chewing on raw dough. But she wouldn’t know it isn’t my favorite because she doesn’t knowme.
I open the door and take the tray from her, muttering a “thanks” then turning back to my bed. I don’t bother to close the door. There’s no point when she doesn’t understand what personal space is.
“How long are you going to lock yourself up in this room, Hannah? You need to get out and go do something. It’s the only way you’ll feel better,” Mom says, leaning against the door frame.
I wish she’d just leave me alone.
I shrug. “I have to go back to work sometime soon.”
She sighs—so much disappointment in such a small sound—but nods her head then closes the door for me, leaving me alone.
I discard the untouched meal and turn on the TV for background noise to drown out my own thoughts. I should call my therapist again. I should get back to work and move on with my life.
I shouldn’t let my soon-to-be ex-husband have so much control over my emotions.
But that can be future-me’s problem. Current me will be laying in bed the rest of the day and wondering where it all went wrong.
Chapter 1
Hannah
I’ve been warned about strangers and the dangers they present since I was a child.
Don’t talk to strangers.
Especially strangers on the internet!
They’ll kidnap you!
They’ll steal your identity!
They’ll sell you into a sex trafficking ring!
No wonder I have anxiety.
