Page 23 of Crush & Byte
“I know what this is costing you,” she continued, her gaze settling on me with an intensity that made my breath catch.“I can see it in your face, Crush.Every instinct you have is screaming to make the call, to keep me safe.Isn’t it?”
I couldn’t deny it.“We want you safe, River.More than anything.”
“But you’re still giving me the choice.”She shook her head in wonder.“Do you know how much that means to me?”
Byte squeezed her hand.“We’re trying to show you that you’ll always come first with us.We meant what we said earlier.And we’re serious about this being your decision.Whatever you want to do, we’ll do, honey.”
She looked down at their joined hands, then back up at both of us.“I’d never want someone to risk their safety just so I was more comfortable,” she said firmly.“Never.And I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to either of you because I was too scared to be stuck here.”
I felt something in my chest loosen, even as another gust of wind shook the cabin.“You’re not scared to stay with us?”
Her laugh was soft, almost disbelieving.“Crush, I think I’m more scared of how much I want to stay with you both than anything else.”The admission seemed to surprise even her, color rising to her cheeks.“But that’s not the point right now.The point is, I trust you.Both of you.”
“So what do you want to do?”Byte asked, his voice gentle.
River took a deep breath, looking between us with those clear, honest eyes that had haunted me since the first moment I saw them.“I want you to decide,” she said finally.“I know that sounds like a cop-out after everything I just said about choices, but…” She paused, searching for words.“I think… I think sometimes trusting someone else to make the right call is a choice too.Maybe the hardest choice.”
The rain was coming steadier now, drumming on the roof in a rhythm that would soon become a downpour.Outside, the trees swayed against the night sky, bowing to the rising force of the wind.
“Are you sure?”I asked, needing to be certain.“We can make it if you want to go.We’ll make sure of it.No matter what, you’ll be safe.”
She nodded, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.“Make the call, Crush.I trust you.”
Three simple words, but they hit me like a physical force.I trust you.From a woman who had spent her life running because she didn’t trust anyone to put her first, they were more than words.They were a beginning.For the first time since Byte told me about breaking into River’s digital book collection, I thought there might be a chance for this to work.
Maybe Maggie was right.
I stood, my body moving before my brain had fully committed to the decision.River’s trust hung in the air between us, both a gift and a weight.I didn’t deserve the gift.The weight, I’d gladly bear if it won me her heart.“We’ll stay,” I said, making the call she’d entrusted me with.“The cabin’s solid, and trying to outrun the storm on mountain roads is asking for trouble.”The relief in her eyes confirmed I’d made the right choice, but now came the harder part.
Byte started to rise too, probably assuming we’d head back downstairs to let River get more sleep before the storm hit full force.I placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him with gentle pressure.His eyes met mine, questioning.
“Stay with her,” I said quietly.
Byte’s expression shifted minutely, surprise, then understanding on his face.River looked between us, confusion clear in her features.
“You two need to talk,” I continued, my hand still on Byte’s shoulder.“About everything from earlier.She’ll have questions.”I directed this last part to Byte, whose eyes narrowed slightly as he caught my meaning.
Byte was better at certain conversations than I was.He could break down complex emotions into logical components, explain how he felt without all the tangled mess I usually made of things.It was everyone else’s emotions he had a problem understanding.River needed clarity right now, not my gruff attempts at expressing feelings I barely understood myself.
“Why are you leaving?”River asked, her voice small in a way that tugged at something in my chest.“Don’t you want to stay too?”
I turned to her, struck again by how vulnerable she looked in the dim light, how young despite the strength I knew she carried.The wind gusted against the cabin walls, a mournful howl that seemed to underscore the moment.“I do want to stay,” I admitted, the honesty coming easier than I expected.“More than you could possibly know.But I think you’d feel better dealing with one of us at a time for this,” I said, gesturing vaguely between us.“Until you felt more comfortable.It’s a lot to process, what we talked about earlier.”
“But --”
“Byte’s better at explaining things,” I continued, cutting off her protest gently, crossing, sitting back down on her bed and taking her hand.I brought it to my mouth and kissed her fingers, then her palm.“He’ll answer your questions without getting all…” I struggled for the word.
“Emotionally constipated?”Byte supplied helpfully.
I shot him a look but couldn’t deny the description.“Something like that.”
River’s expression softened, her lips curving into a small smile.“I don’t think you’re emotionally constipated.”
“You haven’t known me long enough,” I countered, returning her smile despite myself.
“But don’t worry,” I added, holding her gaze steadily.“I’ll get my turn with you.”
The words came out deeper, rougher than I’d intended, loaded with meaning I hadn’t planned on showing.River’s breath caught audibly, her pupils dilating slightly in the dim light.The air between us seemed to thicken, charged with something electric and inevitable.
