Page 60 of His Godsent Duchess
With a heavy heart, Victor left his study and walked toward Christina's chambers. When he entered, she looked up from her papers, her face lighting up at the sight of him, but the moment she saw his expression, her smile faltered.
"Victor," she said softly, setting her quill down. "What is it? Has something happened?"
He stared at her for a long moment, searching for the right words. He had rehearsed what to say, but now that he was here, the weight of it all pressed down on him, making it difficult to speak.
"I'm leaving," he finally said, his voice harsher than he intended. "I will be going to London for the rest of the Season. I won't be returning for several months."
Christina's face paled. "Leaving? For months? Why? Is there some urgent business in town? I could come with the children?—"
"No," he interrupted, the word sharper than intended. "That won't be necessary."
He saw the confusion in her eyes give way to something more painful, something that mirrored the fear inside him. Her voice trembled slightly when she spoke again. "Is this… about the kiss?"
Victor's jaw tightened. "It has nothing to do with that."
"Then why?" she pressed, her voice rising. "Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?"
Victor's pulse quickened, anger flaring to mask the deeper emotion that threatened to surface. He couldn't allow her to see the real reason. "Because I cannot do this," he snapped, his voice cold. "I cannot allow myself to fall into the same trap as my brother."
Christina's eyes widened, pain flashing across her face. "What are you talking about?"
Victor turned away from her, staring out of the window as he tried to contain the turmoil inside him. "Christian lived for excitement, for the thrill of adventure. He thought he could have it all, and in the end, it killed him."
"What does that have to do with us?" Christina asked, her voice breaking slightly. "We aren't Christian."
Victor's hands clenched into fists. He couldn't look at her, couldn't let her see the truth in his eyes. "He was reckless. He believed that he could escape danger, but it caught up with him. I let him chase that life, and he died because of it. I won't let myself care for someone like that again. I can't."
She stepped toward him, her voice pleading now. "But you do care, don't you? That's why you're doing this."
Victor swallowed hard, his chest aching at the sight of her. She was hurt, confused, and it was his doing. But he couldn't let her get closer. "We must live separate lives," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's the only way."
Christina's breath hitched, her hands trembling as she stared at him. "You're running from this, from us. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this tous?"
He had no answer for her. Not one that would make sense. Not one that wouldn't break both of them. Instead, he turned and walked out of the room, his heart heavy with the weight of what he had done.
As he closed the door behind him, he knew that the pain of this moment would haunt him for a long time. But it was the only way to protect them both from the inevitable heartbreak that would come.
Twenty-Six
Christina sat frozen in her study, her mind reeling from the shock of Victor's words. One moment, she had been wrapped in bliss, certain that the kiss they had shared meant something more—that it signified a change, a turning point between them. She had felt it in the way he held her, the way his lips had lingered on hers, the way he looked at her afterward as if she had become something precious to him.
And now, mere hours later, her entire world had shattered.
She felt lightheaded, as if the very ground beneath her had given way. Her legs trembled, no longer able to support her weight, and she sank into the nearest chair. Her heart pounded in her chest, a dull, relentless ache that seemed to spread with every breath. She stared blankly at the wall in front of her, unable to fully grasp what had just happened. Victor had left her.
He had walked out of the room, out of her life, as if their marriage meant nothing to him.
Christina blinked, her vision blurring with unshed tears.Of course it doesn't mean anything to him,she thought bitterly.He only married me to take care of his children.
The realization hit her like a physical blow, sharp and painful. She had been fooling herself, hadn't she? All the moments they had shared, the smiles, the laughter, the intimacy—they had all meant something to her. But to him? To him, it was just an arrangement. A duty.
Her chest tightened as the sobs began to build, clawing their way up her throat. She pressed her hands to her face, as if that might somehow hold back the flood of emotion threatening to overwhelm her, but it was futile. The tears came, hot and heavy, rolling down her cheeks in unrelenting waves. Her shoulders shook, and she let out a choked sob, the sound barely escaping from her lips.
How had it come to this? How had she gone from feeling the possibility of love to being utterly discarded, as if she were nothing more than a convenience?
There was a knock at the door, but Christina barely registered the sound. The door creaked open, and footsteps followed—soft, familiar. She didn't need to look up to know it was Addison. The tray in her hands clinked softly as she placed it on the table, but the moment Addison saw the state Christina was in, she rushed to her side.
"Your Grace!" Addison exclaimed as she knelt beside Christina, wrapping a comforting arm around her trembling shoulders. "What has happened? What's the matter?"
