Page 42 of Captured By the Cold Duke
Cherie gasped. She could not quite believe the words that had just come out of her husband’s mouth. Her head spun, and for a moment, she thought she might faint. It was the most disrespectful, dishonorable thing anyone had ever said to her.
“Cherie?” Her husband’s hand came to her arm, and he peered closely at her. “Are you all right?”
She wrenched her arm from his grasp and glared at him. “Of course, I’m not all right! You just implied that I would betray you! And your implication goes beyond that—you are also giving me tacit permission! I have never been so insulted in my life!” Anger flared in her chest, and she had the insane urge to slap him. Her fingers twitched before she could quite suppress it.
“I am a duchess, and an honorable woman,” she said. “And never in my wildest dreams would I betray my husband. I am deeply offended that you would suggest otherwise.”
To her surprise, Thomas did not look remotely apologetic. “I understand your anger,” he said, “but you are still young and naive in the ways of the world.”
“Donotcall me naive!”
“This is common practice among the aristocracy for couples that no longer live as man and wife.”
“But—”
“Husbands often look the other way, while their wives stray.”
“Thomas—”
“And furthermore, it is what you deserve!” A pained look came over her husband’s face, and he glared at her with a furious intensity. “Don't you want to experience all the joys of romantic love, Cherie? Don’t you dream of great passion?”
“Of course I do, but?—”
“Well, you are not going to find that in me, clearly! But that doesn’t mean you have to go your whole life without it!”
Cherie felt the tears beginning to burn in her eyes. “What are you saying, Thomas?” she whispered. “Do you want me to take up with another man?”
Her husband made a face. “Of course, I don’twantit, but I accept that it is inevitable!”
“It isn’t inevitable!” Cherie shouted, stamping her foot. “I don’t want to take up with another man!” Tears were pricking Cherie’s eyes, but she brushed them angrily away. “Why are you beingso cruel to me? Do you really believe that I secretly want Lord Rochford, that I encouraged his attentions? Is that why you are treating me like this?”
Thomas was very rigid, his jaw locked. “No,” he finally confessed, and his shoulders slumped slightly. “I don’t believe you encouraged his attentions.”
“Because I did hesitate…” she said, forcing herself not to look away. “But not because of him. Only because…”
“I know why you hesitated,” Thomas said quickly. “Of course, you want to know what a real marriage feels like.”
“But I do not want that with him,” she whispered. “And I do not want to betray our marriage vows. That is not the kind of woman I am, and if that is how you see me, then you really do not know me at all!”
Thomas’s expression softened somewhat. “Of course that’s not how I see you,” he murmured. “I only wanted you to know that there are other options if you ever tire of our arrangement. Because I want the best for you, Cherie. I want you to be happy.” He took a deep breath, and she knew that whatever he was about to say was difficult for him to admit.
“I was jealous,” he said, his voice quieter than she had heard it in a long time. “When I heard the way Constantine spoke to you, I was jealous. Not because I thought you were interested in him, but because I didn’t want another man to speak to you the way I wishIcould speak to you.”
His eyes met hers, and she admired that about him: that even as he confessed his true feelings, he didn’t look away.
He is brave.
Cherie’s heart was cantering in her chest, and she swore that if she looked down, she would be floating. Her husband’s words seemed to sing through her, filling her with hope and joy.
“Which words exactly?” she whispered. “Which ones do you want to speak to me?”
Thomas licked his lips but didn’t respond. She didn’t care, and she plunged recklessly on.
“Do you want to show me what it means to be adored? To be worshiped?”
Slowly, Thomas nodded.
Cherie felt as if her heart was going to explode. Goosebumps were spreading up her arms and legs. She couldn’t quite believe that after everything she and Thomas had gone through, this was finally happening.
